


If I Never Drew You

by Leydhawk



Category: Glee
Genre: AU, Art Student AU, First Time, I needed something light, M/M, Minor Angst, Mostly Fluff, Rating will change, Supernatural element, all of the firsts for kurt, and the world needs fluffy smutty stories now more than ever, kurtbastian, no Blaine in this verse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-17 06:53:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9310193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leydhawk/pseuds/Leydhawk
Summary: Kurt has always drawn his clothing designs on a model of a boy he sees in his mind, a boy with green eyes, who grew and changed as Kurt did. When he gets into an AP art program at the local college, he never expects to meet the boy in person, or that Sebastian has been drawing Kurt since childhood as well.





	1. Chapter 1

_Kurt's been drawing clothes since he was little. Everyone always assumes he is drawing them on a figure of himself, but he knows the boy who wears the clothes he designs has green eyes, not blue, and as they come into puberty, he's taller than Kurt as well. The shoulders have broadened on his model, and people imagine he's depicting his hopes for how he'll look in the future. The only people who knew that he always draws the same boy were his parents, and after his mother died, he stopped talking about it to his father._

_In art classes, he is encouraged to draw differently shaped models for diversity, but he always prefers the tall young man with the strong shoulders and green eyes._

_Here's what happens when he gets into an art and design program at the local college that's for advanced placement high school students and he comes face to face with his idealized imaginary model in the form of another student, Sebastian Smythe, whose own drawings have always featured a slender, blue-eyed boy, with a hairstyle that has recently gone from a severe side part to a tall quiff..._

 

Kurt had barely made it into the classroom on time. The last car he'd agreed to help his dad with on his last day off from school for summer break had taken longer than he expected, and he'd barely had time for a quick shower before racing to the college for his Life Drawing class. He wore a hat because he hadn't had time to do his hair.

He quickly settled at an easel and got his tools ready, inspecting his pencils and making sure his charcoal was intact.

The instructor made a brief introduction, stating that she'd get to know each of them through their work, and then encouraging them to draw the vignette on the stage in the center of the room. Upon a small table lay a violin propped against a book, with a piece of silky fabric draped beneath. Kurt identified it as a shawl, but quickly switched gears from his analytical thinking to his observational artistic side, tilting his head back and forth to take in the shadows and shapes before him.

Light from the high windows caught on the student across and to Kurt's right as the boy ducked back and forth, leaning left while Kurt leaned right to check their subject. Green eyes flashed and Kurt paused to look closer. A straight, strong shoulder and angular jaw with a narrow face made him swallow hard then shake himself. There had to be thousands of men who had that look.

But when class broke up and Kurt saw the boy stand and draw the strap of his bag over his head, Kurt's breath caught.

It looked like him. The boy he'd seen in his mind's eye for as long as he could remember.

Trying to pack up so he could approach his vision come to life, Kurt fumbled his case and had to scramble to gather everything before rushing outside only to have the boy be nowhere around.

Biting his lip, he tried to reassure himself that they were in the same class so they would definitely see each other again.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Sebastian was taken by the startling blue eyes of the boy across the way, but when he eagerly kept peeking and staring, Seb was less impressed.

He hurried out of class to avoid the inevitable offer to go get coffee together, followed by flirting and meaningless sex. He had enough puppies nipping at his heels at Dalton; he didn't need the phenomenon to spread to the college where he'd hoped to start afresh.

As he drew his hoodie up, he had to think about the boy a bit. He'd had pale skin and pink lips to go along with those blue eyes. Very pretty. Exactly his type.

Sebastian sighed. He could get sex anytime he wanted it. But what he needed was a way out of the narrow path his parents intended for him. Art was that exit for him, and he was determined not to get distracted by anyone or anything.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Kurt made sure to arrive well before the class started the following week, dressed stylishly, hair perfect, introductory phrases prepared. He wanted to come across as confident but interested; mature but fun. The boy had definitely looked like another high school student rather than one of the college guys, but Kurt still needed the first meeting to be perfect.

This time his mystery man hurried in just as the instructor was beginning her lecture, and to Kurt's disappointment, sat where Kurt couldn't see him. The brief glimpse of him reassured Kurt that he indeed did seem to fit the look of his imaginary model.

Trying to concentrate through the lesson, Kurt blushed when the instructor teased him about the suggestive shape his depiction of the lamp that was their subject had taken. It definitely wasn't uncommon for his drawings to take on some sort of human form; he was a designer first and foremost.

As the instructor moved around the room, he listened closely, and he thought he heard the teacher call the other boy a name with an S in it.

But even with Kurt's intention to talk to the mystery boy, somehow he slipped out of the room while Kurt was packing up. Kurt nearly growled in frustration.

Ah well. There was always next week.

~~Kurtbastian~~

He'd managed to avoid the cute twink with the blue eyes again. Sebastian was pleased, planning to try to wait the guy's interest out rather than tear him apart as he was more commonly wont to do when he received unwanted attention.

The class was interesting, and the observation the instructor had made about his interpretation and use of light and shadow had him thinking of sketching the subject further from memory. He didn't have to be back to Dalton for at least an hour, so he found a table in an empty alcove and got out his sketch pad and pencils.

The lamp emerged quickly, and he paused to think of how its light would illuminate a person. He drew the curve of a young man's cheek, the angled jaw as familiar as looking in a mirror; he'd been drawing the same person for his whole life, a boy who grew and changed right along with Sebastian.

He only sketched the bottom half of the boy's face, seeing clearly in his mind's eye exactly how the luminosity of his alabaster skin would look with the warm beam of the lamp's glow. The mouth had a decided pout to it, as if in disappointment or frustration, but Sebastian just drew it exactly as he imagined.

After only a few minutes, he shaded just a touch more, then packed up. It was enough to get out of his head and onto paper that he could look at it again and recall the inspiration later if he decided to work on it further.

Sighing, Sebastian walked to his car and headed back to the prep school and life he hated.

~~Kurtbastian~~

"Hey, kiddo, how's the art class going?" Burt asked Kurt over dinner.

"Good, I think, although straight up still life drawing isn't really my thing."

"And you're sure you're not missing anything important at school?"

Kurt huffed. "I told you, Dad, I'm missing French III once a week: that's a class I could have passed when I was a sophomore."

"Still life, huh? You gonna be drawing naked people?"

"Dad!"

"Isn't that always what they end up drawing when there's an art class on a tv show?"

Kurt sighed. "I'll draw whatever the instructor has us draw, okay?"

"Right."

Part of Kurt wanted to tell his father about the boy who looked so much like his model, but the habit of keeping everything to himself was too strong.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Sebastian was furious. His mother had found out that the AP program he was in at the college was for art, and she'd tried to guilt him into quitting. His mother, the trophy wife who had never had a job beyond schmoozing his father's clients and making their oversized house look like a museum. She had tried to tell him how useless actually studying art was; although fine as a hobby, there was no point in trying to improve the skill.

He'd cut the rest of the school day and gone and bought several large canvases, hauling them to the college and spending hours going back and forth between painting in bold, emotional strokes and practicing capturing the finest detail of how the light changed from where he worked, creating a triptych of his view through the late morning.

Storing the canvases in the classroom he'd be in later, Seb went out to lunch and then wandered around until it was nearly class time. The instructor was examining his morning's work when he arrived and they had a discussion about using emotional energy to power art until the rest of the students were there and she started class.

Sebastian wasn't thinking about avoiding the blue eyed boy when class was over, and he turned in surprise when a soft voice offered to help him carry his stack of paintings. He looked over his shoulder and frowned. Never having gotten a good look at him, Seb blinked as he looked at the vision of his muse seeming to stand before him in the flesh.

"You're..." Sebastian breathed. The boy's eyes widened and his hand came up to cover his mouth. And the hand... The scar on the second knuckle of his first finger... Seb had started drawing that two years prior. "How...?"

"I'm sorry. I... You..."

"I... I'll get the canvases. Would you carry my kit?" Sebastian finally said.

The boy nodded. Seb stared for a moment longer at his throat and chin (exactly...it was exactly right) before he offered the case of his supplies and picked up the stack of artwork.

"I'm Kurt," the boy said, and Sebastian felt a chill down his spine. Breathing too fast, Seb just nodded, avoiding looking at...Kurt.

"Sebastian."

"It's nice to fin-- to meet you, Sebastian."

The way Kurt's smooth voice sounded on his name was like silk sliding across a polished table, and Sebastian walked stiffly as his knees shook from it.

They got to the parking lot and he heard Kurt's footsteps scuff when he approached his special edition FJ Cruiser.

"That's a Trail Team model, isn't it?"

The admiration in Kurt's voice brought Seb back to himself, and he smirked as he laid the canvases in the back. "My baby."

Kurt laughed, and Sebastian reached to take his supply kit from the boy. Seb's breath caught again when he looked at Kurt, and he quickly turned around to put the case away and shut the back of his vehicle.

"I've never seen one in person."

"I'm impressed you know enough to recognize it," Sebastian admitted, facing Kurt again.

Kurt smiled, his head tilting in a superior little bobble. "I bet I could surprise you in lots of ways."

Sebastian held out his hand. "Give me your phone."

One perfectly groomed eyebrow rose. Kurt's eyes narrowed even while his cheeks flushed pink. He was obviously trying to decide if he'd obey, and Sebastian's smile spread into a grin. Of course his art model come to life would have moxie.

But he reached into his back pocket and withdrew a new model iPhone and slapped it into Seb's hand anyway.

Rolling his eyes, Sebastian extended the phone back to Kurt. "Unlock it, unless you don't want my number."

Kurt smirked and took the device back, entering his passcode and opening his message app before returning it.

Sebastian was a little disappointed not to get a glimpse of the wallpaper Kurt used, or what apps he had loaded, but he texted himself quickly and handed the phone back after hitting send.

"Do you want to get coffee sometime this week?" Kurt asked.

Seb nearly groaned. So predictable. He turned toward the driver's side and headed that way.

"Or maybe eat a bunch of caramels together?"

Sebastian's head snapped around. "Wh-what? Was that a Good Will Hunting reference?"

Kurt was already backing away. "I told you I'm full of surprises," he said, then turned on his heel and walked away.

Sebastian finally noticed that not only did Kurt have the upper body of his model, he also had the fine, pert ass that he'd been imagining since he hit puberty as well. He had to wonder if he could possibly be as well hung as Seb had always envisioned.

Shaking his head, Seb got into his vehicle and drove toward Dalton in a fog of confused thoughts and memories.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Kurt's legs barely carried him to his Navigator. He climbed in unsteadily and sat behind the steering wheel shaking.

Sebastian. His model had a name.

His model was a real boy.

Had to be a coincidence, right?

And he'd flirted with Kurt.

He was gay, too?

Well, that wasn't the biggest shocker with him being an artist. Not to stereotype, but Kurt knew there were lots of gay men in the art and design industry.

But how could someone he'd known in his mind for as long as he could remember be a real? Telepathy? Kurt had never believed in anything supernatural, but what other explanation was there?

Soulmates? Kurt frowned. Wouldn't he have to believe in souls for that? He shook his head.

Telepathy. That was all he could come up with in his fog of confusion.

He looked down at his phone, remembering that Sebastian had texted something to himself so they could stay in contact.

From Kurt: hello, handsome

Kurt laughed and rolled his eyes. He quickly typed a second text.

From Kurt: that text wasn't very creative for an art student

Knowing Sebastian would be driving and hoping he was responsible enough not to text and drive, Kurt went ahead and started the Nav and pulled out, heading toward home.

By the time he got there, he had a response.

From Sebastian: art is about truth and beauty, so maybe it was a little on the nose since I've seen how you've been looking at me

Kurt blushed. He hadn't meant to be obvious and he'd sensed Sebastian's disapproval of his coffee suggestion. He needed to play it cooler.

From Kurt: you're rather full of yourself, aren't you

From Sebastian: so let me start over. I'd hate to leave you with a bad impression of me

From Kurt: go ahead

Kurt clutched his phone, waiting.

From Sebastian: hello beautiful

Kurt squealed and couldn't stop grinning. But he continued to play it as cool as he could manage.

From Kurt: that's better


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth comes out, and we start to see how different the boys are.

Sebastian drew Kurt. The mental image muddled together with the recent memory of their brief time walking to Seb's Cruiser, and he drew the moment Kurt had gasped and covered his mouth. The look in those familiar blue eyes seemed to be recognition and Sebastian wondered at that. Was he seeing something he wanted to see, or had Kurt somehow known him just as Sebastian knew Kurt? This whole situation was mad, so who was to say what was impossible?

He considered sending Kurt a text asking if they'd met before, but rejected the idea. He didn't want to be the one to say anything.

So he waited, and drew sketch after sketch of Kurt: his hair, the style having changed in the last year from an unflattering side part to the upsweep Seb had seen in class; his hand over his mouth with that too-specific scar; the mouth itself with the pink lips that floated in his dreams in pornographic detail; and his ass, so high and tight in those painted on designer jeans he'd been wearing.

A knock disrupted his burgeoning fantasy of Kurt's ass.

"Yeah?" He called.

The door opened and Paul entered. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

Paul wasn't as slim as Kurt, but his skin was pale, hair dark, and eyes blue. Seb occasionally indulged himself with letting Paul blow him, but he wasn't in the mood today.

"What do you want?"

Paul stopped his slow approach, looking confused.

"When you left campus you said I should come by your room tonight."

"Well I changed my mind."

"But... C'mon, Seb, I can see you're upset, and I could help you relax."

Sebastian briefly entertained the idea of letting Paul suck him off but the thought left him cold.

"You don't know me. Don't pretend you're anything to me beyond a convenient orafice," Seb sneered.

Paul paled and adjusted himself. Sebastian quirked his eyebrows. Did the twisted little shit get off on being humiliated? How fucked up was that?

"Dude, get out. Take your little pencil pecker and go find someone else to slobber all over."

Paul finally left, and Seb was left wondering. Why had he turned down a blowjob?

He glanced at the sketches in his hands and ignored his conscience, going back to drawing Kurt.

Just because he wasn't in the mood to use Paul's mouth didn't mean anything.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Kurt floated through making dinner, and waited for Sebastian (he had a name, a lovely name!) to text him and continue their flirtation. But his phone remained stubbornly silent.

Should he text? Did Sebastian not like the response he'd given?

He overdid the perfection of the table setting and presentation of the roasted chicken with rosemary new potatoes and green beans with almond slivers, making it look like a magazine spread. He took a few pictures, waiting for his dad to get home, and decided to send one to Sebastian.

From Kurt: we could skip the caramels and go right for the main course

Putting foil back over the chicken so it would stay warm, Kurt sighed at how that ruined the aesthetic.

From Sebastian: are you inviting me to dinner?

From Kurt: anytime

From Sebastian: send me your address

Kurt gasped. He fumbled to reply, wondering if Sebastian would actually show up.

From Sebastian: unfortunately, I couldn't make it before that Martha Stewart setup was stone cold. I'm in Westerville

From Kurt: probably for the best tonight since my dad would ask questions

From Sebastian: ashamed of me already? It usually takes longer

Kurt frowned.

From Kurt: why would anyone be ashamed of you?

From Sebastian: ha! That just shows that you don't know me

From Kurt: but I want to

There was no reply to that and Burt arrived home, so Kurt was distracted from the lack as they ate.

Habit dictated that Kurt do his homework afterward, so it wasn't until he'd completed everything that he realized.

From Kurt: was that too bold?

From Sebastian: I'll admit that getting into those skinny jeans of yours has its appeal, but I'm not exactly boyfriend material Kurt

Kurt blushed furiously at the response.

From Kurt: I don't know who told you that but I can assure you they're wrong

From Sebastian: you don't know me

From Kurt: I feel like I do

From Sebastian: what do you mean?

Kurt considered how he should proceed.

From Kurt: you're very familiar to me, Sebastian

It took longer for the response to come through that time.

From Sebastian: how did you get the scar on your finger?

Kurt blinked.

From Kurt: it's embarrassing

From Sebastian: it happened two years ago

From Kurt: yes

His heart was pounding. How did Sebastian know when he'd been thrown in a dumpster and cut himself climbing out?

From Sebastian: and you changed your hair last year

The back of Kurt's neck prickled.

From Kurt: how do you know that?

From Sebastian: you did, right?

From Kurt: yes

From Sebastian: when you were little you had a green bunny you used to dress up

Kurt's eyes flew to his closet where the dapper Mister Smith was packed away with all his outfits.

From Kurt: ???

From Sebastian: yes or no

From Kurt: yes

Time ticked by, and Kurt's breathing was fast. He opened the bottom drawer of his bureau and withdrew his old sketchbooks. He went back to the one from about sixth grade, when his sketching had taken a leap forward and he'd begun to draw people recognizably.

His imaginary model was sprinkled in liberally among the drawings of his dad and the neighbors and his favorite teacher. He searched and found one that was toward the end of that book, of his model in simple blue swim trunks with big white flowers on them. The boy was on a beach with lush green hills behind him, but his face showed sadness and he stared out to sea. Kurt took a picture and sent it.

From Kurt: almost five years ago, I drew this

His phone vibrated with a call.

"Hello?"

"My uncle died that summer, and we spent three weeks in Hawaii with my widowed aunt."

"...Sebastian, how..." Kurt sat down heavily on his bed.

"I've always had a boy in my mind... I drew him from the time I was little."

"I designed clothes for my imaginary friend. The boy with sandy hair and green eyes."

"Art is my escape. My parents want me to be a lawyer like my dad, but I..."

"Sebastian, I don't believe in supernatural things. H-help me, here. Did we grow up catching glimpses of each other around Ohio? Is that how..."

"I didn't grow up in Ohio, Kurt."

Kurt gasped. The world seemed to be tilting on its axis.

"All the boys I've slept with have all looked like you, Kurt," Sebastian whispered, and Kurt went cold.

"How old are you?"

"Sixteen."

"And you're already... You've..."

"Well, yeah. I've been in all boys boarding schools. We all started groping each other years ago."

A tear slipped down Kurt's cheek.

"Do you have a boyfriend, Sebastian?"

"I told you I'm not boyfriend material."

"So you're just a slut then?"

There was silence for several heartbeats.

"You're a virgin."

"And you're not. How come I know so much about you but I didn't know this?"

"Maybe you didn't want to know."

Kurt sniffled. Sebastian sighed.

"Kurt... I'm sorry."

"You're sorry for what? For screwing around? Or for bursting my perfect little romantic bubble?"

"I'm sorry this hurts you. I never want to hurt you."

"I think I need to go."

"Please don't."

"I don't know what to say to you."

"Then listen. I'm as confused as you are about how this happened. I don't know if it means we're soulmates or destined to be best friends or if this is some crazy fluke. I do know that now that I know you're real, I need to get to know you. I...I guess I need you, period. I need you, Kurt. Please don't shut me out now."

The quiet wavering of Sebastian's voice convinced Kurt of his sincerity.

"Sebastian... I'm scared."

"What are you scared of, my... Kurt?"

"Everything. I've never even kissed a boy, Sebastian. And you've had sex? We're on totally different paths."

"No. No, I... Kurt, sex and all that... It never really means anything to me. Nothing really means anything to me, except art. And my art is inextricably entwined with you."

"I need to see you."

"I can't risk sneaking out tonight. My parents--"

"No, it's okay. Not tonight. But...tomorrow? Can you come over tomorrow after school?"

"Yes. I'll be on my way as soon as my last class finishes."

"Okay. So...will you bring your drawings of me? Anything you have? I think I need to see..."

"Yeah, yeah. No problem."

"Okay. Um, I think we should say goodnight now."

"Alright. Goodnight, Kurt. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Sleep well, Sebastian. Hopefully alone?"

Sebastian laughed. "As alone as I ever have been with you in my mind."

Kurt blushed. "I meant--"

"I know what you mean. Relax, Kurt. I don't even have a roommate."

"Alright. So...goodnight."

"'Night."

Kurt moved mechanically through his nighttime routine and crawled into bed. It was like his mind was overloaded and he was running on automatic.

When he closed his eyes, he saw Sebastian sitting at a desk, drawing, and he let that image take him to sleep.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Sebastian was completely freaking out.

So he drew.

He lost himself in the familiar comfort of shading and light, and he didn't let himself worry about all the things Kurt had said and all the possibilities that lay before them.

He just drew.

And of course, Kurt's eyes took shape on his page, wide and innocent with a shadow of the fear he'd expressed. But those eyes were so beautiful. They held a universe of potential.

And then he drew Kurt with his eyes closed and his face resting on a pillow. He ignored the real possibility that somehow, he was actually seeing Kurt as he was at that exact moment and just sketched the fall of his hair over his forehead and the purse of his breath through his parted lips, and the fall of his eyelashes against his cheek.

Seb grew sleepy himself and laid down on his bed, still adding small touches to the drawing even as his eyes drooped and he finally let himself drop pencil and sketchpad onto the floor as he fell asleep.

The school day passed quickly, and Sebastian was glad he was known for his arrogant, superior attitude since it kept everyone at arm's length. He had sycophants like Paul who trailed him and sat with him at lunch, so he wasn't alone much, and they were always distracting.

He grew tense as his last class wound down, and was out the door like a shot the moment it was dismissed. He hurried to his room and grabbed the stack of older sketchbooks from where he'd retrieved them from his closet shelf, then out to the Cruiser. He pulled his blazer off and tossed it into the back seat before he started the vehicle and left the school grounds.

The tie followed the blazer once he hit the highway, and he unbuttoned the top two buttons of his white shirt and rolled up his sleeves. There wasn't anything he could do about the slacks and shiny black shoes, but he hadn't wanted to wait an extra instant to see Kurt again.

Pulling up to the middle class suburban house with the address Kurt had sent, Seb looked with curiosity at the big glossy Navigator with the chrome spinners. That couldn't be Kurt's vehicle, could it? Outdated bling didn't seem Kurt's style. Maybe a tasteless older sibling?

Shrugging, he grabbed his artwork and headed for the door.

Those weren't butterflies in his stomach. Nope. He didn't get nervous over guys.

And then Kurt opened the door and he was again struck by the stunning fact that he had some kind of lifelong connection to the beautiful boy in front of him, and he couldn't breathe.

"Come on in," Kurt invited. He offered refreshment, and Sebastian accepted a glass of lemonade.

They sat down on either end of the rather worn sofa and exchanged sketchbooks, starting with the oldest ones.

Halfway through the second one, Sebastian had to comment.

"So you went from dressing up your bunny to dressing me up?"

Kurt shrugged. "I'm a fashion designer above all."

Seb just shook his head.

"You're amazing, Sebastian," Kurt said after flipping through the book that chronicled his first year of high school.

"You were so sad, that year. I hadn't seen you so sad since we were little," Seb confessed.

Kurt sighed, and his expression was so complex Sebastian's fingers itched to get a pencil and try to capture it.

"My mom died when I was eight," Kurt said quietly.

Sebastian reached out and took his hand. Kurt looked at him from under his eyelashes, and Seb held his breath. There was something caught in his throat, but until Kurt's eyes dropped to their joined hands, he couldn't clear it and breathe again.

"That sucks."

Kurt nodded agreement.

"And the teenage sadness?"

Kurt sighed.

"High school."

Sebastian tried to figure out what the nuances were in the two words and was as unable to decipher them as he had been Kurt's expression.

"I don't understand."

Blushing, Kurt tried to pull his hand away. Seb held on.

"Look at me," Kurt huffed. "I don't exactly fit the norm for a high school guy in Ohio."

"No, you're way prettier."

Kurt's jaw clenched. "Pretty is not a compliment for a boy."

Deciding to skip the gender bias of language discussion, Sebastian instead used his free hand to turn Kurt's face toward him.

"It is from me."

Kurt's eyes fluttered closed, and Seb could see he was waiting to be kissed. But Sebastian didn't want their first kiss to be some kind of proof of Kurt's attractiveness or worth.

"Your first kiss shouldn't be like this, honey," he said. Kurt's eyes flew open and his face flushed scarlet.

"Oh god, you don't want me, I'm so sorry I thought--"

"Kurt."

Those big innocent eyes looked up at Sebastian and he got lost for a minute.

"All your firsts should be perfect, Kurt. None of mine have been, and I want that for you."

"How is this in any way not the perfect moment?" Kurt responded breathlessly.

"Don't you want a date? Like, tomorrow I can pick you up and take you out, and when I bring you home after a wonderful evening of witty banter and flirting, I will hold your hand while I walk you to your door and then give you exactly what you deserve."

Kurt nodded, smiling and biting his lip.

"Yes. A thousand times yes."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so very much for the comments and kudos. Please, if you enjoy this, keep 'em coming. Every day seems to bring more frightening news, and I need all the positivity I can get.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Burt learns their secret, and they have their first date.

Burt arrived home and was extremely displeased that Kurt had invited a boy over while he wasn't there. But given how lonely Kurt was, and how respectful Sebastian seemed when Kurt introduced him, Burt decided to wait to lecture his son.

"So you're in this art program, huh? Are you a fashion guy, too?"

"No sir. I draw and paint."

"People or landscapes or...?"

"Anything. I'm fascinated by the interplay of light and shadows."

"Okay. Are you any good?"

"Dad!" Kurt cried. Burt just looked at him for a second then turned back to Sebastian, who seemed to be suppressing a smirk.

"Yes sir. I'm very good."

"That what you're gonna study in college?"

"Dad, why are you raking my new friend over the coals? I haven't even had the chance to talk with him about school yet!"

Burt backed off, more because he saw the unhappy frown Sebastian got at the question than Kurt's protest.

"Can I ask if he's staying for dinner or is that too intrusive?" Burt teased Kurt instead. Kurt's expression was hopeful as he looked at the other boy.

"Sure. That sounds good. I have to be back at Dalton before they lock up at 10, though."

"Dalton Academy? That private school in Westerville?" Burt asked. With all the difficulties Kurt had with the bullies at McKinley, he'd explored every possible avenue in hopes of getting him out of there, but the shop had needed a lift repaired, and he just couldn't swing it without dipping into Kurt's college fund, which he definitely didn't want to do.

"Yes sir."

"I guess that explains the expensive gas hog you have out there," Burt gestured at the front of the house.

"Pretty sure I get better mileage than that Navigator."

"You guys leave my baby out of this," Kurt said flatly. Burt smiled. He fostered Kurt's affection for the big SUV because the thing was a tank and he felt better with his son driving something that safe.

"That godawful thing is yours?!" Sebastian asked. Burt almost laughed. The first big trial of this new friendship and he got to watch!

"Watch your tongue! I love that car!"

"But it's got spinners!"

"They add personality."

Sebastian stared at Kurt, who kept a straight face, glaring with one eyebrow raised. Burt was wickedly curious how Sebastian would respond.

The tension mounted for a few moments, then the tall boy gave in with a laugh.

"I'm in no position to criticize. My Cruiser is ostentatious, too."

Kurt relaxed and Burt announced he was going to go get cleaned up for dinner.

"I haven't even started anything!" Kurt called after him.

"Order a pizza!"

"Not with your heart!"

Burt shrugged. Kurt would figure something out. He always did.

After a shower and a change of clothes, Burt went out to the living room to watch tv and wait for Kurt to call him to the table. He saw sketchbooks left out and open on the coffee table and looked at them. He was stunned to see Kurt's face, from his childhood, the sadness evident in his eyes. It was obviously from after Lizzie had died. But it wasn't Kurt's style of drawing, and Burt had never seen the portrait before.

"Kurt? What the hell is this?" He called.

When Kurt hurried into the room he paled when he saw what Burt was looking at.

"I drew that when I was eight years old," Sebastian said.

"What? N-but-how?"

Kurt and Sebastian shook their heads.

Kurt opened his sketchpad and handed it to Burt.

"I drew this last summer."

While the outfit was almost as angular as a zoot suit, it had a modern asymmetrical look that made Burt notice how innovative it was, but it was obvious that what Kurt wanted him to look at was the face of the model. It was Sebastian, with slightly more rounded cheeks.

"You've known each other--"

"Only since the art class started. Dad, I can't explain it. But it's real."

Burt ran his hand over his face and head, then rubbed the back of his neck.

"What does it mean?"

"We don't know. But we want to get to know each other and see what happens," Sebastian offered.

Burt's eyes narrowed.

"Dad! Stop assuming the worst."

Burt nodded, conceding that he had been imagining them moving too fast, too soon.

"Alright. I trust you, Kurt. You've earned that. You-" he pointed at Sebastian, "have some catching up to do in that department."

Sebastian smiled. "Yes sir."

They ate the savory crepes Kurt had whipped up, with Sebastian complimenting their authenticity and answering a barrage of questions from Kurt about living in France.

Burt waved them to the living room afterward and did the dishes while their voices and laughter rose and fell where they sat together looking through the sketchbooks and comparing notes on their childhoods and early teens.

When Sebastian finally needed to leave or risk being locked out of his dorm, he hugged Kurt and shook Burt's hand.

"I'd like to take your son out on a date tomorrow night, sir."

Burt blinked. He looked at Kurt, who was bouncing on his toes in excitement and hope. "I think that would be okay."

"Thank you sir."

"Thanks, Dad."

Burt let them have their privacy walking together out to Sebastian's Cruiser.

He looked around the living room, missing Lizzie. She would have been so excited for Kurt's first date. He smiled sadly, and went to sit down and watch tv.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Going on a date with Kurt made Sebastian simultaneously feel old as well as young and innocent. Kurt's literal breathless excitement at every aspect of the date from the flowers Seb brought, to how they held hands between locations, was contagious even while part of him felt like an indulgent adult with a little kid.

And sometimes that's what he saw when he looked at Kurt. He saw the little boy with the severe hairstyle. Other times he swore he caught glimpses of the stunningly gorgeous man Kurt would become and his sexually active mind imagined how Kurt would look in the most extreme throes of passion.

Curtailing those thoughts was essential to keeping the date on track, however.

"You said your firsts weren't perfect. What was your first date like?" Kurt asked.

Seb smiled and opened his mouth, then closed it when reality hit him.

"I guess I can't say my first date wasn't perfect, Kurt, because this is my first date."

"Wait...what?"

"I've never actually had this. Trysts, hook ups... But never a formal date," Seb said slowly, wonderment filling him. Part of him ached and soaked in the knowledge like a desert. Maybe he could recapture some of the beauty of young love for himself while he shared it with Kurt.

Kurt reached across the table and traced his fingers over the back of Sebastian's hand. "I'm honored to give you this."

Seb felt himself blushing and shook his head self-deprecatingly at his reaction.

They talked and laughed through the mediocre dinner of mushy pasta and semi-stale breadsticks, and Sebastian was startled by Kurt's vehement insistence that if Seb wanted cheesecake he had to get his own piece.

"What, I can't have a couple bites of yours? Sharing dessert is like a romantic staple!"

"Uh-uh. Any other dessert and I'd say yes, but cheesecake is my favorite and if I have a piece, it is all mine."

Laughing, Sebastian ordered a coffee instead, bemoaning the liquor laws that prevented him from having it with a shot of Courvoisier.

Kurt frowned. "That sounds like a line."

"Well..."

"You sound like an arrogant prick saying it was like mother's milk in France. Don't do that."

Sebastian frowned back.

"There's part of me you haven't really seen, Kurt."

"Yeah, the fake stuff you show other people. You don't need to do that with me because I will never believe any of it. I already know you."

Sebastian's gut flared with tension and resentment. "You don't know me at all. We just fucking met."

Kurt looked away, his mouth pressed into an unhappy line. Seb regretted stealing his smile.

"You know we have more than other people do when they start dating. I mean, I've drawn you lots of times with the aloof, superior look you have, but that was for a runway look. It's a mask. I know how much sadness you hold inside, Sebastian. I know you."

The arrival of cheesecake and coffee interrupted the argument and they both set to.

"You're...right. I'm a big fake most of the time," Seb muttered as he put cash into the folder to pay the bill.

Kurt reached for his hand again, and Sebastian let him take it.

"We all do what we have to to get by. I just want you to know that you don't have to pretend with me."

Seb nodded and they kept ahold of each other as they left the restaurant.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Kurt's stomach was aflutter as Sebastian walked him to his door as he'd promised.

He was glad they'd gotten through the unpleasantness over dessert without ruining everything.

He really wanted his first kiss.

On the porch, Sebastian turned to him and they shared a smile. Kurt felt his heart thudding and tried to stay calm.

"This was a great first date," Sebastian said. "I'm glad I got to have it with you."

"It was perfect. Thank you."

"Do you have plans tomorrow?"

"I'm waxing the Nav tomorrow. It's good to get a coat on before winter. Have you waxed the Cruiser?"

Seb wrinkled his nose. "I just get it detailed when it needs it."

Kurt rolled his eyes. "You'll never get to know your vehicle if someone else is the one who does everything on it. Let's meet at a park and do them both."

"Okay. I'll try it once."

Kurt chuckled, and then Sebastian's hand was on his cheek and his face was looming closer and Kurt closed his eyes and held his breath.

Pressure and warmth and a puff of breath against his skin and frissions of electricity coursing through him, stirring heat in his belly and Kurt was gasping and grabbing ahold of Sebastian's arms as dizziness swept through him.

"Mmm," Sebastian hummed as he moved back. Kurt looked up at him, stunned.

"'Mmm' good or 'mmm' bad?"

Sebastian's fingers caressed his face from eyebrow to jaw. "Definitely good, sweetheart."

Kurt bit his lip. "Can we do that again to be sure?"

With a laugh, Sebastian put his arm around Kurt, pressing his palm to the small of his back and drawing him forward before he leaned in for another kiss.

Kurt slid his hands from Sebastian's biceps to his shoulder blades and held on while their lips moved together, sliding in a delicious dance that made Kurt feel both weak and powerful at the same time.

When Sebastian withdrew, Kurt wanted to whine and cling and beg for more, but instead he conceded gracefully and allowed the moment to linger as they looked into each other's eyes.

And that was a perfect first too. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I don't have a schedule for when I'll be updating. I hope ya'll enjoy when I get to it. Comments brighten my day!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kurt's reaction after Burt gives him The Talk, and then the boys discuss where they're going regarding that information.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still writing for the Valentine's challenge but I decided to post another chapter of this as well. I appreciate all the support I'm getting on both!

From Kurt: is it possible to die of embarrassment? I think I'm dying of embarrassment

Sebastian was contemplating what clothing would be appropriate for a car-waxing date when the text arrived.

From Sebastian: umm?

From Kurt: (picture of a fanned out stack of pamphlets)

From Sebastian: omg are those gay sex guides?

From Kurt: I'm dying. My dad...

From Sebastian: ha! That's awesome! Did he give you condoms and lube, too???

From Kurt: this is NOT funny! I'm DYING here

From Sebastian: it's not that bad. Did he talk to you or just slide them under your door?

Seb snickered at the thought.

From Kurt: I got The Talk over breakfast

Laughing aloud, Sebastian sat down on his bed.

From Sebastian: so he approves?

From Kurt: he said I should wait til I'm 30

From Sebastian: mixed signals

From Kurt: he loves me and wants me to be happy but this was the most embarrassing thing ever

Sebastian nodded to himself. He was glad Kurt had a father like Burt.

From Kurt: there anatomical drawings! Ugh

From Sebastian: it's not a bad thing to know exactly what's where, babe

From Kurt: I am a guy! I know what's where!

From Sebastian: unless you've done way more solo practice than I think you have, there's going to be information in those pamphlets that you need

From Kurt: can't I just learn as I go?

From Sebastian: I can tell you from experience that you should read those before you do anything with anyone else

From Kurt: even you?

Seb popped a boner so fast he felt lightheaded. God. Imagining Kurt, beautiful, innocent Kurt, looking to him for instruction in every aspect of sex made him positively dizzy.

From Sebastian: Read. The. Pamphlets.

He could see Kurt blushing and rolling his eyes.

From Kurt: fine. What time do you want to meet?

From Sebastian: I'll bring lunch. Twelve o'clock

From Kurt: I'll be there

~~Kurtbastian~~

It felt good teaching Sebastian how to wax a car.

And it was really nice watching Sebastian when he stripped off the button down denim shirt he had on over his tank top when his efforts warmed him.

Those efforts certainly warmed Kurt as well.

Once they had finished the Nav, they took a break and sat under a tree nearby, finishing off the veggies and dip that Sebastian had brought to go with the sandwiches and salads they had had for lunch.

"That is a damn lot of work. No wonder it's over a hundred bucks to get the Cruiser detailed."

"I can't believe you throw money around like that," Kurt said, shaking his head.

"I know those shoes you wore last night were $600."

"You have much to learn about bargain hunting. I got those for $75."

"Seriously?"

Kurt smirked.

They finished the crudités and Sebastian sighed heavily.

"My arms are gonna be wasted if we do the Cruiser too. How about we skip it and I'll get it detailed next week?"

"Oh come on, it's not that bad," Kurt teased. "I've done my baby and my dad's truck alone in one afternoon."

"And I bet your arms were too tired to so much as beat off that night!"

Kurt's faced flared neon: he could feel it. Probably visible from space. He turned his head away from Sebastian and shifted uncomfortably.

"Hey, what's wrong? What did I say?" Sebastian asked. Kurt shrugged and blew air out over his cheeks trying to cool the heat there. "Seriously. What's going on?"

"I don't know how you can so casually just drop...that...into conversation."

Sebastian reached for Kurt's hand.

"Dropped what?"

There was a pause where Kurt kept his face averted even while his hand clutched Sebastian's.

"Beating off? That's what you..."

Sebastian started to laugh but cut off when Kurt jerked his hand away.

"Wait... That really bothers you? Kurt... Why? We all do it."

Kurt stood and wanted to run away. He was nearly in tears, trying desperately to get himself under control. His shoulders hunched forward and his hands twisted together.

He jumped when Sebastian gently touched his biceps.

"Kurt, will you look at me?"

Kurt didn't want to. He squinched his eyes closed and wished himself away. Anywhere, just far away.

Feeling Sebastian's hands shift, sensing movement, Kurt still wasn't prepared when soft lips pressed into his.

Eyes flying open, Kurt jerked, then immediately went soft, leaning into the warmth of Sebastian's embrace.

They broke apart after a few moments and Sebastian smiled. "Whew. I'm glad that worked."

"What do you mean?"

But Sebastian just shook his head and hugged him, and it felt so good to have an affectionate, attractive boy with his arms around him that Kurt decided to forget what he'd been upset about.

Except he couldn't.

It wasn't like he never masturbated. He was seventeen, after all, but it wasn't something he'd ever mention casually; especially not to the boy who had featured prominently in his fantasies from when he'd first started dreaming of love and sex at age thirteen.

Had Sebastian thought of him that way when he was just an image in his mind? Kurt tried not to think about that, but the idea wouldn't go away.

"Seb... Can we walk around a little and, um, talk?"

Sebastian's agreement was enthusiastic.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Seb held Kurt's hand as they walked slowly across the grass, waiting for him to start.

"How... Mmm, how far did," Kurt finally began.

"Kurt, you can ask me anything."

"Okay. So... Did you ever, um, have you..."

They angled together toward an empty playground.

"Is this related to what I said before that kinda freaked you out?" Sebastian asked.

"Um, yeah. I just... When I hit puberty..."

It slapped Seb in the face, then. God, it was so fucking hot to think of Kurt beating off to thoughts of Sebastian, maybe even at the same time Sebastian had been beating off to thoughts of Kurt.

"Yes."

They reached the playground, and the gravel crunched underfoot as they went to the swings and sat down side by side.

"Yes?"

"Yeah, I know what you look like under your clothes. Yeah, I've used that image to get off. That's what you're asking, right?"

Sebastian looked over at Kurt, who was blushing furiously again and staring down at his feet.

"Oh. Um... Me too."

"I kinda figured."

Kurt looked up at him and rolled his eyes.

"Look, Sebastian, I'm the older one here, so I feel like I should be like, leading or something and--"

"When's your birthday?" Seb interrupted.

Kurt told him.

"So you're actually five months older. That's not much. Plus, we can make our own rules. Who cares what society thinks? I'm so glad to have found that you're real, Kurt. I saw you sleeping last night. And the night before. I want to know more about this connection we have. Don't you?"

"Yes. So... Can we just be honest about all of it? Can we decide not to be embarrassed and just...skip that? Can we decide something like that?" Kurt was frowning but there was a hopefulness in his eyes.

"I think that would be awesome."

Kurt nodded. "Okay. I don't know if I'll be able to, exactly, but I want to try. I'm not ashamed of who I am. I refuse to be ashamed. But..."

Sebastian reached over and set his hand on Kurt's knee.

"You're inexperienced. That's okay. I told you I want you to have the perfect firsts I never had."

"Will you tell me about your firsts?"

Seb huffed. "I guess so. If you really want to know."

"I do. Maybe not all at once, but, like, could you tell me about your first kiss?"

"I can do that."

Sebastian took Kurt's hand.

"I was at my school in Vermont. I went there for fifth through eighth grades. It was the last year I was there. We had a New Years party after we all got back from the break, and my group of friends... We were hanging out when it got late, back in the dorms, and one guy complained about not getting a New Years kiss. And we all agreed that we hadn't either and somehow we all started kissing each other. I remember lots of tongues and messy sort of nastiness. Bad breath and teeth and smooshed noses and laughing," Sebastian said, shrugging.

Kurt squeezed his hand and their eyes met.

"Mine was perfect."

Seb felt himself smiling a silly smile and even blushing lightly.

"I'm glad. Thank you."

"You said..."

"Hmm?"

"All my firsts."

Sebastian nodded.

"I...I do want that, but..."

"Not all at once. That's part of making them perfect, sweetheart."

Kurt bit his lip. "I'm not sure if I like all the endearments."

"Tough. I've never had someone I want to use them with."

Kurt laughed. "What if I don't answer?"

"You will."

"Your arrogance knows no bounds."

"Confidence, babe. It's confidence."

Kurt withdrew his hand and pushed his swing, pumping until he was swinging high and then jumping off at the apex. He landed easily and laughed.

Sebastian grinned and joined him, putting his arm around Kurt and leading him back toward where they were parked.

"So, did this little talk get me out of us waxing the Cruiser?"

"Don't be a baby. Be a man and take care of your nice things."

Seb sighed dramatically but went along with it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys learn that there's a downside to their connection.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for light angst, resolved by the end of the chapter.

They texted, flirting and commiserating on school and homework and just keeping in touch as they could through the week.

On Wednesday night, Kurt found himself drawing Sebastian laying in bed. He was pretty sure Seb was reading, but he enjoyed sketching the messiness of his hair and the differences in how his skin looked with a lamp above him.

Then he suddenly got a feeling that Sebastian wasn't alone.

Switching to another page, Kurt frantically scratched the pencil over the paper and Sebastian's expression was very different. His forehead was furrowed and his mouth open, head rocked back on his neck. Kurt dropped his pencil. With the frowning forehead he'd thought Seb was angry, but with closed eyes and his neck back, Kurt recognized the look as arousal and his face flushed red and tears prickled his eyes.

He was pretty sure Sebastian was with someone else. Having sex.

Kurt threw the sketchbook across the room.

~~Kurtbastian~~

(7:30am) From Sebastian: hey let's sit together at class today, k? I want to see your process drawing whatever lame thing we have to do today

(11:45 am) From Sebastian: you are coming to class today, right?

(11:55am) From Sebastian: everything okay? I haven't heard from you

(12:25pm) From Sebastian: I guess I'll see you at class

When Sebastian arrived at the art class he found Kurt was already seated between two other students, and the instructor was right behind him entering the room so he had to hustle to get set up in a free spot.

Kurt didn't even glance at Sebastian through the lesson, and a knot settled in Seb's stomach as he tried to figure out what might be going on.

"What is this, Sebastian?" The instructor asked him. "Are you not doing the same assignment as everyone else?"

Sebastian looked at his page and saw he'd been drawing a sliver of Kurt's aloof face and the back of Kurt's easel. He flipped to a fresh sheet and muttered an apology, focusing on the chair they were supposed to be depicting. The polished oak reflected light in some places and seemed to absorb and glow with it in others. It was a fascinating challenge.

But Seb kept looking at Kurt, trying to catch his eye, to no avail.

As soon as class was over, Kurt was off like a shot, and Sebastian threw his kit together and raced after him.

"Kurt, hey! Wait up!"

Kurt walked faster.

Sebastian jogged and came up beside the other boy.

"What's going on?" Seb demanded. He was done with this cold shoulder routine.

"Leave me alone."

"What? Why?"

Kurt stopped abruptly and glared at him.

"I drew you last night."

Sebastian shook his head. "So?"

"So I know you were with someone!"

Sebastian's heart plummeted. Paul had come to his room and tried to get busy again. Sebastian had been horny and let the boy grope him through his pants, only stopping Paul when he'd had a flash of a look from Kurt that had made him feel guilty.

"Nothing happened."

"Your face last night tells me what a lie that is."

Sebastian sighed. "Look, I was drawing you, laying on your bed, and I got... I got turned on. I mean, your bed, Kurt! And Paul came in and saw I was hard and tried to get me to let him blow me, but I said no. I sent him away, Kurt. I swear!"

The miserable hurt in Kurt's eyes was the worst thing Seb could imagine. He reached out to touch Kurt's cheek, but Kurt turned his head away.

"I don't know how to do this, Sebastian. You're... You have all this experience, and I don't and I know you said you want to slowly give me my firsts and make them perfect, but... I can't do that with you if you're going to be messing around with other people. And you probably don't want to wait for me and that's...understandable, so--"

"Kurt, no! I said I sent him away! I didn't do anything with him. I--"

"I'm not going to be ready for that for a long time, Sebastian. And you have needs and we never talked about being exclusive and--"

"Stop!" Sebastian was breathing hard. Kurt finally looked at him, and Seb's chest tightened when he saw that Kurt's eyelashes were wet. He dropped his art supplies and wrapped his arms around the boy.

Kurt stood stiffly in the embrace.

"Kurt... Will you be my exclusive boyfriend? I promise to make it known at school that I'm in a relationship and not interested in screwing around with anyone there."

Kurt turned his head and looked up at Sebastian.

"Is that what you want?"

"Kurt... Yes. That's what I want."

"Th-that's what I want, too."

Seb relaxed and smiled. Kurt's return smiled was tentative but the shadow in his eyes had cleared. Kissing him then was inevitable.

Kurt melted against him and Sebastian pulled him tight against his body. He fit perfectly there, and felt exactly right.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Kurt got Sebastian to come to Friday night dinner again the following day, and Burt seemed to relax further around them, even letting them go hang out in Kurt's room (with the door open) after they ate.

"This is your room, huh? The whole basement?"

Kurt smiled and let the rhetorical question lie as he watched Sebastian walk around and look at the space and how Kurt had decorated it. He circled and then sat down on Kurt's bed.

"I think I've found my favorite spot."

Kurt laughed, feeling his face heat. Sebastian patted the comforter next to him and Kurt went willingly to sit beside him.

Beside his boyfriend.

Kurt wanted to squee every time he thought the word.

"Can I take you out tomorrow? I was thinking we could go to the art museum in Columbus."

Kurt smiled and put his arm around Sebastian's waist. Seb returned the gesture without hesitation.

"I think that sounds great. I'll make a picnic lunch, okay?"

Sebastian nodded and his eyelids drooped slightly as he looked down at Kurt's lips. When his gaze flicked back up to Kurt's, Kurt knew he was asking permission to kiss him, and he nodded, feeling his cheeks heat.

It started soft, like the others they'd shared, but this time Sebastian increased the pressure a little and led Kurt's lips to part.

Feeling Sebastian's tongue on the sensitive inside of his bottom lip made Kurt shiver and open his mouth wider, pressing his own tongue forward.

Sebastian met his inelegant thrust with a swirl and deeper press of his own and Kurt felt his heart throbbing throughout his body, but especially in his groin.

Kurt was shaking when Sebastian broke away with a closing soft peck.

"Sebastian..."

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"That was amazing."

"Perfect?"

"Yes, perfect."

"Good."

That was as far as it went that evening, even when Kurt walked Seb out to his Cruiser. It might have been that Sebastian saw Burt keeping an eye out the window, or it could have been that he knew how deeply affected Kurt had been in his bedroom, but he kept their goodnight kiss to a closed-mouth caress of lips and Kurt was mildly disappointed. But Sebastian's eyes were practically glowing with affection, so Kurt decided he'd take it as all good.

"Drive safe," Kurt murmured to him, holding Sebastian's hand as long as he could.

"I will."

Kurt waved as his boyfriend drove away and floated back into the house afterward. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moving the physical side of things forward requires communication.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the positive feedback. I'm struggling to write or do anything right now (depression is a bitch), so I appreciate your patience with my slow updates.

Spending time in Columbus gave Kurt a wonderful sense of anonymity. Even in the deserted park where they'd waxed their cars, Kurt had felt as if they had eyes on them. But in the city, even if he saw a disapproving look here or there, it wasn't like it was in Lima where their dinner date had drawn stares from what had seemed like half the restaurant.

So they had their picnic lunch and then wandered the museum holding hands, and it was a wonderful afternoon.

On the drive back, they stopped at a restaurant in Westerville for dinner and Kurt decided to bring up a concern he had.

"Do you think you're going to get tired of me? Or bored, or--"

"What? No! Why would you..."

Kurt looked at him with an eye roll.

"I'm a virgin, Sebastian. All I've let you do is kiss me."

"Hang on now. Let me? What's that supposed to mean?"

Kurt blushed furiously. "I'm sure there's more you want to do, that's all."

"Y-you're not saying you don't ever want to do more, right? I mean, eventually you want to..."

"Well, yeah, but I'm not sure when. I... I guess I don't want to go to college without, um. But that's almost two years away, so..."

"You don't want to wait two years for me to touch you, though. I certainly don't want you to wait two years to touch me..."

"I just... I don't know!"

They sat at the table, picking at their food.

"Can we get this to go? I need to be alone with you," Sebastian asked. Neither of them were eating so Kurt nodded, his stomach and his throat too tight to do anything but agree.

Sebastian drove east and Kurt dully watched the town thin out until they turned and were driving through woods, then near water.

"Lake of the Woods. Hoover Reservoir rounds it out north and south. I want to find a quiet spot. Do you sail?" Sebastian sounded almost nervous as he chattered.

"No."

"I'd love to take you out sometime. Maybe we can try to do that before if gets too cold?"

Kurt shrugged. He felt almost sick to his stomach, and he was nervously playing with his phone. Sebastian had been nothing but sweet to him, but driving to a secluded wilderness seemed like overkill for just talking about sex. He decided to text his dad, just in case.

From Kurt: Sebastian and I are driving around at Lake of the Woods for a bit. You can track me with the Find Friends app I put on your phone if you need anything

They crossed a bridge and went south, finally turning off toward a parking area.

From Burt: Is everything okay?

From Kurt: yes we're just going to talk and maybe draw inspiration from the landscape with the sun setting

Kurt didn't want his father to worry, but he figured it was better to be cautious.

From Burt: Let me know if you need me to come and get you.

From Kurt: I will

The car stopped, and Sebastian got out. He waited, and Kurt left the car. Taking his hand, Sebastian led him to a picnic table and stepped up to sit on top with his feet on the bench. Kurt sat beside him.

"Okay, so... I want to talk about this. Is that okay?"

"I guess so. I'm just a little nervous being in the middle of nowhere. With bugs."

Sebastian chuckled. "They're not too bad this late in the year."

Kurt shrugged, and Sebastian took a deep breath, then started speaking.

"Kurt, the physical stuff... It's never meant anything to me besides the pleasure of the moment. If I had known you were real, I might have done things differently: I don't know. You're beautiful and fascinating and incredibly sexy. I want you, really, I do. But beyond the physical, Kurt. I want to have your image in my mind sending me to sleep each night with me knowing that I'm doing right by you. I'd rather not wait until we're twenty to be fucking, but I'm not going to push you."

"You think we'll be together when we're twenty?" Kurt asked in wonderment.

"I think that now that we know that the boy we've grown up with is real we're never going to be satisfied with anyone else."

"What if it goes away? I mean, we don't exactly understand it. What if there's a time limit and--"

"Jesus, Kurt! What are you doing? You want to know we're going to take it slow, physically. You want to be sure I'll be faithful. You want me to tell you it's always going to be right and good and... Life doesn't work like that."

Kurt bit his lip and looked away. "I know that. Losing my mom taught me that. But I guess I want to know that... How invested are you in this, in us?"

Sebastian was silent for a while. "Sex hasn't meant anything to me," he began.

"Seb--"

"Just hear me out."

Kurt nodded, sighing.

"Nothing I've done with anyone else has meant as much to me as just kissing you has. So, I can't promise nothing will change in the future, Kurt, but..."

Kurt's eye were huge when he turned to Sebastian. He leaned in and initiated a kiss, going straight for tongue and wrapping his arms around the taller boy and pulling him up against himself.

The embrace was intense. When they finally broke away, Sebastian was breathing hard and had to adjust himself. Kurt felt a weird sense of pride that his kisses could affect the other boy that way.

"Kurt, God, I thought you were worried about me molesting you out here!"

Kurt laughed and blushed. "All I did was kiss you."

"You did way more than that. Sweetheart, you rock my world."

"Sebastian! What are you: 40?"

Sebastian laughed, then his eyes dropped to Kurt's lips again.

"You think you're ready for another first? I mean, from the way you just attacked me, I'd say you are, but--"

Kurt rolled his eyes again. "Depends what you mean," he said, more seriously.

"Just making out. Pretty much more of what we just did, except maybe I'll kiss your neck and possibly grab your ass."

Kurt giggled and nodded a little, and Sebastian stood and pulled him toward a big tree with a wide trunk.

"My clothes!" Kurt protested when Sebastian tried to put his back to the tree. Seb rolled his own eyes and switched positions with Kurt, drawing him close as he leaned back against the support.

Sebastian kissed him more slowly starting out, playing with his tongue, teasing, and Kurt smiled into the experience. It felt wonderful to be wrapped up safe in his boyfriend's arms, and Kurt couldn't believe he'd been worried about being all alone with him, now.

When one of Sebastian's hands migrated south, Kurt's breath sped up. He shuddered when Sebastian's palm settled on his butt cheek and squeezed. Why did that feel so amazing?

It was slightly easier to breathe when Seb trailed his lips along Kurt's jaw but Kurt wobbled when he kissed below Kurt's ear.

"Oh!" Kurt gasped. Sebastian rocked his hips forward and Kurt could feel him hard against him, and suddenly it was too much.

Seb must have felt him tense up, because the pressure eased, the hand fondling his ass slid back up and the lips returned to his, gentle and less aggressive. Kurt relaxed and they kissed for a while longer, until Sebastian finally wound down to small pecks and hugging.

Kurt rested his head against Sebastian's neck, noticing how their breathing calmed together and feeling warm and content as his body calmed.

"I'm sorry if--" Kurt began.

"Shh. I don't ever want you to apologize for feeling how you feel."

Kurt sighed and hugged him tighter.

"Thank you."

Sebastian kissed his cheek and stroked up and down his back.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Driving Kurt home after their tryst up against the tree was like a dream. Sebastian held Kurt's hand and hummed along to the radio, feeling like he was flying.

Their kiss on the porch reignited some of the passion Sebastian had felt but he didn't let it go on too long, sending a flushed-faced Kurt inside before he retreated to the Cruiser. The drive back to Dalton was a haze of replaying every moment of their time together.

He was half hard as he headed up to his room, eager to relieve the tension Kurt's beautiful body and lush mouth had stirred in him.

So eager to beat off, he was unzipping as soon as the door shut behind him, unaware he wasn't alone in the room until he turned at a rustling from his bed.

"We didn't expect you to be gone so long. Sorry, but we started without you," Paul said from where he laid half under the figure of John Johnson, or JJ as he was called. Sebastian had dallied with both of them separately and they'd joked about a threesome several times.

But that was before Kurt.

"This is not cool, guys. Fucking around in my bed while I'm gone is creepy and gross. You need to--"

"Now that you're here it's not creepy. C'mon, Sebby, join in," JJ rumbled in his deep voice.

Sebastian shook his head. His heart was pounding. What if Kurt saw him like this?

"Get out, guys. I told you the other day, I've got a boyfriend now."

"Sebastian, we don't mind. He obviously doesn't go here, so..." Paul said.

"What happens at boarding school stays at boarding school. You know that. I've got a girlfriend back in Colorado," JJ added.

"No. Uh-uh. This isn't like that. I'm going to grab a shower- you two better be gone when I get back."

Sebastian hurried out, snagging his bathroom kit on the way.

Once in the shower, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He was only sixteen. How had he lived his life that his past was already haunting him? He sighed, aching for Kurt.

When he got out, Seb called Kurt before he headed back to his room.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Kurt answered.

"Hi. Um, yeah, nothing's wrong, I just... I wanted to hear your voice again before bed."

Kurt huffed an amused sound. "Okay. I'm not going to complain."

Sebastian smiled. He could see Kurt as if he was going to draw him; he was blushing lightly and smiling.

"Kurt...you're amazing. You're beautiful and kind and talented and I'm so happy to be your boyfriend."

"Wow, Seb, that's... Thank you. I don't really know how to respond to that."

"You don't have to say anything, I just wanted to tell you that. And say goodnight."

"Well, goodnight, my dear Sebastian. Sleep well."

"You too."

Sebastian was heartily relieved that Paul and JJ were gone when he got back to his room. Climbing into bed, he turned toward the wall and closed his eyes, seeing Kurt in his mind as they both fell asleep.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian's birthday, meeting the Smythes, and the first O between the boys. Still T rated but not for much longer.

They saw each other at art class and every weekend. They continued to make out when they had the chance, and Seb successfully got most of the boys at Dalton to stop trying to get him into bed.

The weather grew colder, and Sebastian's birthday approached. He admitted to Kurt when it was, and Kurt wanted to plan a special evening together to celebrate.

Sebastian had another idea he decided to float after he received grudging approval from his parents.

"Would you come to my birthday dinner with me and my parents? They've given me the choice of a few places, and I want to go the The Refectory for one of their music nights. It helps having the music so we don't have to talk as much. The one closest to my birthday is a quartet of cellos," Sebastian over-explained, trying not to show that he was nervous. He'd never had a boyfriend to introduce to his parents.

"That...sounds expensive. Are you sure they won't mind?"

Sebastian hugged him. "Money doesn't matter to them. I just..."

"...What?"

"You're the first boy I'm introducing to them."

Kurt kissed him enthusiastically and then stared into his eyes. "Thank you."

Sebastian's guts twisted. "Sweetheart, they... I don't know how they'll treat you. They're totally fine with me being gay, but..."

Kurt raised one eyebrow in that adorable expression Seb loved, and it drew a smile from him.

"They don't approve of me becoming an artist. They think art is fine as a hobby, but not a profession. They want me to follow in Dad's footsteps and go to law school. Mom found out that the AP thing at the college is for art and she's been guilting me to quit ever since. I...I don't know what they're going to do when I tell them I want to go to art school. I'm putting it off as long as I can, and trying to see what schools have pre-law and art and maybe try to fool them for a while," Sebastian admitted, unable to meet Kurt's eyes anymore at the admission.

"Oh, Seb. I'm sorry you're dealing with that. Please don't think I'm going to judge you."

Looking back into Kurt's eyes, Sebastian found understanding and sympathy and he let out a shaky breath.

"Thank you for telling me," Kurt said.

Sebastian had to kiss him then.

~~Kurtbastian~~

The restaurant was amazing. The building had once been a church (hence its name), and the food was beyond compare. The music was beautiful and Sebastian looked dashing in his designer suit.

Mr and Mrs Smythe, however, weren't all Kurt could have wished. They seemed to have no issue with their son as a gay man but they were otherwise rather conservative and definitely money and status oriented. Kurt understood why Sebastian had chosen a music night for the dinner because it truly did reduce the conversation time drastically.

Basically Sebastian got to introduce Kurt, they had just a few minutes to ask about Kurt and his life and interests, then the performance started. They were having coffee and dessert when they could again speak, and Kurt had the distinct impression that Mr Smythe was annoyed by Kurt's stereotypical interest in fashion while Mrs Smythe treated him as if he were another woman with which to talk about interior design and dresses. It was very uncomfortable to feel like she approved of him as a potential trophy 'wife' who would do as she had done and take care of the children and home while Sebastian made money and gained prestige as a lawyer.

Kurt did finally get to hear about Sebastian's siblings, however.

Tristan and Sabine were fraternal twins who were six years older than Sebastian.

Tristan had graduated from the Air Force Academy and was beginning his career as a USAF officer in Japan. Sabine was living in France with Mrs Smythe's sister, where Sebastian had spent a year and a half as well. Sabine was studying to be a chef, and from the twinkle in Sebastian's eyes when he mentioned her, Kurt knew there were stories to be told about his obvious favorite sibling.

"Seb and Sab?" Kurt asked, smiling.

"She prefers Sabbi over Bini," Sebastian offered, returning the grin.

Mr Smythe huffed and gestured for the check.

"You know I don't like those nicknames, Sebastian," Mrs Smythe said in a long-suffering tone.

"Sorry, Mom."

"So, Kurt, don't you find fashion design to be a bit...expected...for a gay man?" Mr Smythe asked. Sebastian's jaw dropped at the insulting comment.

"Stereotypes exist for a reason. It's my passion, and it always has been, so I'm following my dream in any case," Kurt replied smoothly.

"And your father approves?"

The obvious disapproval from the elder Smythe made Seb want to crawl under the table.

"My father wants me to be happy, so, yes, he approves. He thinks I should apply to Parsons next year."

"Hmm. You'd better be good to think you might make it in New York," Mr Smythe said condescendingly. Kurt simply smiled.

"I am very good."

The check arrived, saving Sebastian from crawling under the table in humiliation.

Outside, Kurt politely thanked Seb's parents for including him in the birthday dinner, and the family parted ways. Sebastian had deliberately picked Kurt up for the event so that they had the excuse of the drive back to Lima to leave right afterward.

In the Cruiser, the silence lengthened as Seb got onto the highway.

"Kurt... I am sorry they're so--"

Kurt took Sebastian's hand and shushed him.

"It's okay. I rather expected it from the way you've spoken of them."

"I shouldn't have subjected you to that, though."

Sebastian felt miserable that his father had been insulting.

Kurt's thumb swept soothingly along his knuckles, though, and Seb peeked at him as they passed a lighted interchange. Relief swamped him when Kurt's expression was serene.

"I care about you, Sebastian. So much. We're connected, with this...telepathic visualization thing. You warned me, and really, I face worse at school every single day. I can handle a little condescension. I was more disturbed by your mother's assumption that I would be a good homemaker for you," Kurt said, shuddering.

"God, yeah, she thinks gay couples are like straight fifties couples or something. Just because she's a member of the fucking DAR doesn't mean I'm looking for some kind of male equivalent of her."

"DAR?"

"Daughters of the American Revolution. We can trace our anscestry back to the 1730's."

"Um, okay."

"Yeah."

The miles rolled by. Sebastian realized that Kurt had revealed something even more important in the midst of the discussion.

"What did you mean about school?"

Kurt's head turned away so he was looking out his window and Seb couldn't see his expression.

"Kurt?"

"Sebastian, your father is right. I'm a walking stereotype. And public school...isn't the best place for that."

Seb's breath quickened. Any thought of Kurt being hurt made a crazy feeling start in him. He was certain that if he got all overprotective that Kurt wouldn't like it, but...

"I'd really like to know about it," he said, trying to make his voice neutral.

"There simply isn't any point in my talking about it when nothing is going to change."

"It won't with that attitude anyway," Sebastian grumbled.

Kurt huffed and turned back to face him, releasing his hand so Kurt could gesticulate.

"Right, so I tell you that I get bullied, you get mad and suggest a whole bunch of ridiculous ways to deal with them, you ask me about it over and over so that the little time we have together gets taken up by me thinking about it and not giving me the beautiful distraction that I actually need. That's really going to help."

Sebastian sat and ground his teeth together. A few miles slid by beneath the tires.

"I hate the thought that you're having a hard time. I want to make it better for you. I... I care about you, Kurt."

Kurt took Seb's hand again.

"I know. I care about you, too. And you do make it better for me, just by being there and spending time with me."

"I just... I want to do more."

Sebastian glanced over and Kurt was biting his lip.

"I, um, I want to do more, too. Like, tonight, maybe? Before we get to my house?"

Sebastian's eyes widened at the suggestive tone.

"B-but--what--why?" He stammered.

"Well, it's your birthday. And I thought, um, that..."

"Kurt... You don't have to give... I mean, I don't want you to do more than, um."

"Are you going to stop somewhere private or not?" Kurt asked, his voice bubbling with humor.

Sebastian nodded and took the next exit.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Kurt's heart was thrumming throughout his whole body as they moved into the back seat of the Cruiser. He wasn't sure how far he wanted to go exactly, but he knew he was ready for something more than kissing and touching each other through clothes above the waist.

Ever since that first time he'd moved back from Sebastian's hard on, his boyfriend had been meticulous about keeping himself from doing that again. But by now Kurt had lost count of how many times he'd gotten off alone at night or in the shower in the morning thinking about that fleeting touch of the proof of Sebastian's arousal.

Kissing and touching each other's backs started the same as ever. Kurt was lost in the heat and slide of tongues and lips and the feeling of Sebastian's large hand on the small of his back, fingers resting against Kurt's waistband.

Kurt wanted something more. He reached back and pushed Sebastian's hand down onto his ass and moaned when Seb started kneading, fingers against the seam and palm hot through the fabric.

"C-can you l-lay down?" Kurt asked, hearing how high and thready his voice sounded but not particularly caring.

"Yeah, okay," Sebastian replied, just as breathlessly.

They shifted around until Kurt was barely braced on the seat with one knee and one hand. He took a deep breath and let himself settle on top of Sebastian.

"Oh God, Kurt," Sebastian moaned.

Kurt could feel Sebastian's erection against his hip and his own finally pressing flush to Seb's body. Shudders wracked him for a long moment, and he turned his head to look at Sebastian's face.

"Baby, you feel so good," Seb murmured. He was shaking under Kurt, and Kurt felt a thrill of power through his own body, leaving him slightly dizzy.

They stared at each other for a long moment, then Kurt shifted his leg, rolling against Sebastian's cock.

Seb threw his head back and cried out Kurt's name. His hands wrapped around Kurt and settled both on his ass, urging him down again.

Gasping and shaking, Kurt let his hips follow the pressure of Sebastian's hands and his voice joined in with a whine as his dick skidded on Seb's thigh.

"Kurt, fuck! You're so hot, baby... P-please..." Sebastian was panting and shifting under Kurt.

"Please what? What do you want me to do?" Kurt asked. He honestly wasn't sure what to do next other than keep rutting against each other until they made a mess in their pants. But even thinking that consciously sent fear and uncertainty cascading through Kurt.

"Please, oh God, please, Kurt I wanna come. I'm..." Sebastian bit his lip. "I don't want you to do anything you don't want to, sweetheart, but I'm so... I just need..."

Kurt felt torn in two. He wanted to give in. He wanted to be confident and sexual and to push against Sebastian until he came, but the fear had his own erection withering and tears filled his eyes. He pushed away, back to balancing on one knee and clinging to the seat back so he could squeeze something tightly.

"Seb, I'm sorry. I don't... I can't... I'm so..."

Sebastian's eyes squeezed shut. He looked like he was in agony.

"Y-you don't have to. But I need..." Sebastian's hand went to his fly and Kurt stared.

"Are-are you gonna--"

"Please, God, Kurt, tell me you don't mind. If I don't finish I'm gonna go crazy. You don't have to watch or--"

"I want to. Let me watch," Kurt whispered. His cock surged again at the idea.

Sebastian's hand disappeared into his pants and he started moving in a familiar way. Kurt held his breath, feeling lightheaded. He was about to see Seb come.

"Kurt..." Sebastian grunted, his face tightened into a grimace. "Kurt... Ngh, yeah... Baby... Aah!"

Kurt moaned and felt a sympathetic pulse in his groin as Sebastian jerked and spasmed and finally relaxed.

Breathing hard, Kurt let go of the seat back and stroked his fingers down Seb's cheek, then pushed at the car door and moved out into the cold fall air, slamming the door behind himself and sucking deep breaths as he looked blindly up to the sky.

Why was he so scared of this? Kids at school had sex (as evidenced by the teen pregnancies), and yet Kurt Hummel couldn't even stand to touch his loving boyfriend's dick or have Sebastian touch him. Why did just thinking of Sebastian actually jerking him off or rubbing against him make his throat close up and stomach hurt? When he masturbated, those thoughts were wonderful, but in reality, he was too scared to go through with it.

The door creaked open behind him and Seb's arms wrapped him up, with Sebastian's face pressing against his neck.

"--I'm sorry--"

"--I'm sorry--"

They said simultaneously. Kurt gave a huff of a self-deprecating laugh.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for," Kurt muttered.

"No, you don't, babe. I don't ever want you to be uncomfortable and I know you were and I'm sorry. I just... You're so gorgeous, Kurt. You're so sexy and you feel so right and I just--"

"Shh. You don't have to try to make me feel better. I don't know what's wrong with me."

Sebastian turned him around by the shoulders and looked sincerely into his eyes.

"Nothing is wrong with you, Kurt. I'm sorry I pushed. I never want to push."

"You didn't push. I offered, then freaked out I'm sorr--"

"Stop apologizing!" Seb shook him. "I screwed up. Me. Not you. I was weak. I'm sorry. I'm...sorry," he said, and hugged Kurt hard.

They eventually got back into the Cruiser, in the front seat, and they held hands after Sebastian started the car and pulled out from the deserted side rode where they'd stopped.

"Sebastian... I thought I was ready. I didn't mean to put you in that position," Kurt said.

"Kurt, look, I have never been a guy who won't respect a 'no'. You have every right to say no at any point."

"I know that. And I really thought I was okay. I..." Kurt felt his face grow hot. "I liked it. Too much."

Sebastian was quiet for a time. "I think I get it, a little. I mean, I want your firsts to all be perfect. I really want that for you. And I think perfect kind of means we should talk ahead of time, and get on the same page for where the line is so that even if one of us gets caught up in...it, the other might keep our head and take time to cool off."

"So we talk about sex?" Kurt asked incredulously.

"We talk about what our next step might be."

"I don't know if I can do that."

"Look, babe, if you can't talk about it you probably shouldn't be doing it, right?"

Kurt closed his eyes and squeezed Seb's hand.

"Fine. I was okay humpingyourthigh but I don't think I want to humpourcockstogether."

"Wow... Um... That's, uh, that's fine. That's a good, specific boundary."

Kurt laughed self-consciously.

"How are you feeling about maybe taking off a few...layers?"

Kurt licked his lips. He had drawings of Sebastian in nothing but his underwear.

And then it hit him: Sebastian probably had seen Kurt similarly attired in his mind.

"Oh. Oh, um."

"Whoa. You just freaked out a little. What's up?"

"I just realized that we both know what each other looks like...under the layers."

Seb grinned. "Yes. Yes we do. And baby, thanks for reminding me that I'm a lucky man."

Kurt pulled his hand away and covered his face. "Sebastian!"

Laughing, Seb shrugged. "So what? Neither of us have anything to be ashamed of."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "What would you have done if I had a teeny tiny dick?"

"You don't so why does it matter?"

"Ugh. Never mind. What were you saying?"

"Would you be okay with some skin on skin, like, shirtless?"

Kurt considered. "Maybe not yet. Maybe, um, untucked and hands under shirts, but I don't think I can start getting naked."

Sebastian nodded. "I love the thought of getting to touch your perfect skin, babe."

Kurt felt himself blushing.

"Okay. So we sort of have a plan for next time and we can stop talking about it, right?"

Laughing, Seb agreed as they passed the city limits into Lima. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Taking the next step together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's been so long since I updated this. I hope ya'll are still interested. Thanks to everyone reading and hitting that kudos button, and especially anyone who has taken the time to comment.

  
The next few weeks the boys were able to find time for a few of their negotiated heavier makeout sessions. Twice Sebastian got the green light from Kurt to come while they frotted against each other's thighs; once in the back seat of Kurt's Navigator and a memorable time Burt had been called in to the shop on a Saturday afternoon. The second time, on the sofa in the Hummel living room, facing hours in uncomfortably damp underwear, Seb had borrowed a pair of boxer briefs to wear.

Kurt refrained from letting himself have such a release in part for concern about his clothes, and also from nervousness of the experience. Knowing that Sebastian was going to see him during orgasm at some point, Kurt had taken to paying attention to how his face felt during his masturbatory experiences and he was certain he looked ridiculous.

Unlike Sebastian.

Sebastian looked incredible when he came, his brow furrowed and mouth slack. Kurt thought of that when he got himself off more than anything else, even the amazing way Seb looked shirtless.

The Sunday of Thanksgiving weekend, Burt once again was out, this time looking at sales at the hardware store. Unlike Kurt, he disliked the crowds on Friday and Saturday but still wanted to see if he could score some specialty tools at a good price.

Seb and Kurt had been sketching each other in the living room, but as soon as Burt's truck turned the corner, they were grinning at each other and setting their notebooks aside.

"Can we go to your room this time?" Sebastian asked. Kurt bit his lip and nodded, leading the way.

Seb was stripping his shirt off the moment they entered the room, and Kurt blushed, hesitant to do the same. But Sebastian was there kissing him and walking him backward toward the bed and when the taller boy pushed him down, deftly holding Kurt's shirt so that his own fall onto his bed drew it off, Kurt laughed.

"Very smooth, Smythe!"

"I try."

Sebastian knew him well enough to turn the shirt right side out and lay it neatly across the back of Kurt's desk chair, and Kurt gave him an appreciative nod when he turned back and crawled onto the bed. The discussion of moving to shirtless makeouts had included proper care of Kurt's clothing.

The heat of Sebastian's skin against his own was the most delicious feeling Kurt could imagine. Until Seb moved down to mouth and suck at Kurt's neck.

"Oh... Oh, Seb, yes..."

Kurt carded Sebastian's hair and arched against him.

"Kurt, oh, baby, you're so gorgeous... Love when you say my name like that," Sebastian breathed into Kurt's ear, following his words with his tongue.

"Fuuuck..." Kurt moaned. He shifted and pressed his hard-on against Sebastian's hip.

Sebastian rolled them over, wrapping his arms around Kurt to keep them pressed together.

"God, keep making those sounds and humping me and I'm gonna come," Sebastian gasped.

"Go ahead. I love seeing you come. Your face is amazing..." Kurt encouraged, pressing rhythmically against the hot, firm flesh Sebastian rutted into him.

Seb's hands moved down to Kurt's ass and he thrust roughly up, throwing his head back and crying out.

"Kurt! Oh yeah, Kurt!"

Kurt bit his lip until he tasted copper, trying desperately to stifle his own climax as he watched Sebastian shudder through his. Tears filled Kurt's eyes as he trembled, wanting to come so badly.

Finally, he rolled off of Sebastian and laid with his back to the other boy as his body shook and tears leaked out.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Sebastian's breathing slowed, and he became aware that Kurt was no longer on top of him. He turned is head and watched Kurt's body shivering. He immediately pressed against him, spooning him.

"Sweetheart, hey, that was..."

Kurt had gone rigid in his embrace, though, and Sebastian nearly panicked.

"Whoa, Kurt, hey, what's wrong?"

Physically turning Kurt over so he could see his face, Sebastian was appalled at the tears he saw.

"Babe! Oh my god, did I hurt you? What's--"

Kurt made a strangled sound and tried to move away, refusing to look at Sebastian.

Seb wasn't having it. He held Kurt where he was.

"Kurt! Tell me what's wrong!"

Kurt wrenched himself away and stood, but he merely began pacing the room.

Sebastian sat up and watched him.

"Kurt, please... What did I do wrong?"

Kurt made three more passes up and back before he stopped and spoke, his head down.

"It's not you. I just... It's me. It's all me."

Seb did panic then.

"You are _not_ breaking up with me! You... Please..."

Kurt's head jerked up. "What? No!"

Staring into Kurt's wide eyes, Sebastian bit his lip and tried to figure out what the hell was going on. He shook his head.

"I don't understand."

Kurt sighed and came to sit beside him.

"I'm...paralyzed with my own fear and self-consciousness," Kurt whispered.

Seb moved so he was right beside Kurt but didn't touch him.

"What are you afraid of, honey?"

"That I'll look like an idiot."

"Huh?"

"I'm...so scared to come in front of you because I look weird."

Sebastian couldn't help it. He laughed.

The sound cut off when Kurt stood up and moved away, though.

Sebastian went to him and grabbed his shoulders, turning him around.

"Kurt, you are ridiculous," he said. Kurt's face was red and Seb huffed when tears spilled down his cheeks. "Baby, how many times do I have to tell you how gorgeous and sexy and beautiful you are? And I mean all the time, okay? When you're asleep and drooling on your pillow. When you're brushing your teeth. When you're concentrating on something... And when you come. Kurt, I've already seen it, in my mind. Hell, I've _drawn_ it! I...I didn't want to scare you, but I've got a whole X-rated notebook full of drawings of you."

Kurt's jaw dropped open. "What?" He mouthed, with no sound. It was Seb's turn to blush at the incredulous indignation on Kurt's face.

"Um, yeah? Honey, you've been my primary spank material since...since I started spanking it."

Kurt's hand flew to cover his mouth and Sebastian started to relax when the corners of his eyes crinkled.

Kurt started laughing. Like, belly laugh guffaws, and Sebastian chuckled with him.

They held onto each other until they finally calmed down. Kurt wiped his eyes.

"Well so much for my modesty. I was in _pain_ , I needed to come so bad. It's been that way every time we've made out for weeks, Seb!"

Sebastian felt his cock start to get hard again at the thought that he turned Kurt on so much. But he made a face at the mess in his pants.

"Oh shit, babe, you're turning me on again and my underwear's gross," Sebastian said.

"Well maybe we should...take our pants off for round two?"

"Um...we hadn't talked about taking that step yet..."

"We're talking now, right? Come on, Sebastian, don't get shy on me now!"

Sebastian yanked at his belt and fly and shoved his pants and underwear to his ankles.

"I'm anything but shy."

Kurt giggled and let his eyes wander down. They widened at his first view of Sebastian's cock live and in person. His eyes flickered back up.

"You've already come once. Shouldn't it be my turn?" Kurt pouted and Seb's cock jerked and slapped his belly. Kurt snorted and they were off laughing again.

When they calmed, Sebastian stepped out of his clothes and led Kurt back to the bed.

"Let me take care of you."

~~Kurtbastian~~

Back down on the bed, Sebastian kissed Kurt languorously, running his hands over Kurt's chest and arms and stomach. He didn't want to rush things.

Well, he did, but he wasn't going to.

Unless Kurt got pushy and demanded it, which he did.

"God, Seb! Enough foreplay. I've been up and down so much I'm ready to burst. Can we just... Or you could..."

"See, this is why we're supposed to talk about it before we're like this! I will literally do anything you want, Kurt, but you have to tell me."

Kurt's face flared red. "Fine," he said, rolling his eyes to look at the headboard. "Either hump our cocks together or use your hand. _Please_."

Sebastian roared with laughter and Kurt's face went almost purple with rage.

"Sebastian!"

"It's the way you tacked on the 'Please', okay? That was fucking awesome!"

"You realize that laughing at me is the biggest turn off you can do, right?"

Sebastian sobered and gave Kurt a long, serious look. "I'm sorry. I don't get to just cut loose and express myself with anyone but you. It's not meant to make you feel bad," he said.

Kurt's hand rose and palmed his cheek. "Okay. You're forgiven. But only if you make me come in the next ten minutes."

Seb laughed again and kissed his delightful boyfriend.

Taking advantage of too much practice with boys who had meant nothing to him, Sebastian undid Kurt's pants by touch and deftly divested him of them, all the while mouthing his neck and chest. Wrapping his hand around Kurt's cock and giving it a few strokes made him groan loudly.

He'd felt Kurt against him, had drawn him beating off, but he hadn't really gotten the full effect of how big he was until that moment. Seb looked down and shuddered. Seeing it in person and not just his mind's eye was a huge rush.

"Jesus, Kurt, your dick is gorgeous," Sebastian murmured.

It was Kurt's turn to laugh.

"Seb! You already knew what I looked like!"

"It's so much better in person, babe. God. I want to suck you off so bad."

Kurt shuddered at the words. "I...I don't think I'm ready for that."

Sebastian nodded and caught Kurt's gaze again. "I know. Sorry. You got me so hard again I'm going to get on top of you so we can both get off. As long as that's still okay?"

Kurt nodded, his mouth slack. "Um, lube? In-in the drawer?" He gestured toward his nightstand.

Grinning, Sebastian retrieved the bottle and squirted some in his hand. Lining them up, holding himself above the other boy on his free hand, Seb stroked them together, spreading the lubrication and moaning at the feel of Kurt's cock against his own.

He settled his weight onto Kurt and paused.

"I'm-you're okay, right? Not too heavy?"

Kurt nodded frantically. "Yes. Oh my god, yes. Feels amazing, you pressing me into the bed. Oh, Sebastian... Please..." Kurt's hips were twitching like he was trying not to thrust and if that wasn't hot as fuck... Sebastian kissed him long and hard and dirty, running his tongue over the roof of Kurt's mouth as he pulled back.

"That's right, baby, do it," Sebastian encouraged, giving a few short humps. Kurt cried out breathlessly and reciprocated, and the delicious slide between their stomachs, rubbing against the long heat of Kurt, was the most amazing thing Seb had ever felt.

They panted and moved together, finding a rhythm. Sebastian ground harder when he felt the head of his cock catching against Kurt's and Kurt threw his head back and held his breath.

Seb bit low on the long column of Kurt's throat then, and moved faster.

Kurt's breath exploded with a long cry as his dick spurted and Sebastian shouted as he started to come at the feeling of the hot wetness on his belly. They strained and shuddered together, gasping, a few whimpers escaping both of them, and then Sebastian was kissing Kurt, messy and desperate, kissing to stave off the words in his mind from spilling out his mouth.

Sebastian hadn't told anyone other than his sister that he loved them since he was a small child, and it frightened him that he knew it was true.

He was in love with Kurt Hummel.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bas doesn't know how to deal with his feelings. But Kurt does.

Kurt was getting worried. After the amazing sex they'd had over Thanksgiving weekend, Sebastian had withdrawn.

When he tried to see Sebastian, he could still make the connection that allowed him to view his boyfriend, and what he saw didn't worry him that Sebastian might be straying, but the boy looked troubled, and their text messages were short and practical rather than flirtatious as they had been before.

So on Wednesday afternoon, he finally sent a text in hopes of getting a reaction.

From Kurt: can you meet me before art class? I need to talk with you.

It was eleven that night before he received a response.

From Sebastian: K

Kurt worried all night and the next morning had to use concealer to hide the shadows beneath his eyes. On Thursday he cut out at lunch, skipping not only his French class, which he had permission to miss for the college program, but his history class as well.

Arriving at the college campus hours early, Kurt texted Sebastian to let him know that Kurt would be in the art building lounge.

He sketched while he waited, designing gorgeous suits that would take full advantage of Sebastian's tall, lithe frame with his narrow hips and bigger shoulders. But he was haunted by the image of Sebastian's facial expression with a deep frown and troubled eyes, and ended up with several pages of drawings of Seb's eyes and tears in his own.

"Hey," came the beloved voice, and Kurt threw his pencils and book onto the seat beside him as he jumped up and flew into Sebastian's arms.

"Hey! Are you okay? What's going on? I've been so worried," Kurt gasped into Seb's neck.

Sebastian's arms wrapped tight and Kurt thought he heard him murmur something but being close felt so good, so reassuring, that Kurt just held on and enjoyed the moment.

Finally, they separated and Kurt drew Sebastian to the loveseat, moving his art supplies quickly.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Kurt asked gently.

Seb sighed. "Kurt, I'm not good at this."

"At what?"

"Us."

"Bullshit. Try again."

Sebastian barked out a laugh. He fiddled with Kurt's hand and fingers, then looked at him.

"The...emotional side of stuff."

Kurt nodded. "Unless we're talking about my feelings. Then you do pretty good, Seb. Which means this is about your feelings."

Sebastian nodded.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I make you feel bad somehow? I didn't mean to..."

Sebastian kissed him, interrupting. And when he pulled away, he kept his arm around Kurt's shoulders.

"No, babe. The opposite."

Kurt frowned. "The opposite, like..." His eyes flew open wide, then a smirk curved his lips. "You liiiiike me," he said, drawing it out like a little kid.

Laughing again, Seb hugged Kurt. "Yeah, I do. I really really do."

Kurt felt all his concerns erased. He knew Sebastian well enough to know that he was telling the truth.

Kurt kissed him briefly and then looked right into his eyes. "I like you, too, Sebastian. I'm so glad you're a part of my real life not just in my head."

He watched the emotions play across Seb's face and felt himself almost melt.

"I love you, Sebastian. And I'm pretty sure you love me but you're not ready to say it and that's fine. But I want to tell you. I love you," Kurt said, then leaned in for a kiss.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Sebastian wasn't sure what to do. They went to class and got information on their final project that they'd have the first part of December to work on. Seb was interested and excited about what he was going to do, and that kept him distracted until class was over.

Packing up and walking together to the parking area, Sebastian didn't know what to say so he remained quiet.

Kurt moved into his arms when they'd both put their supplies away. Sebastian buried his face in Kurt's neck and breathed the scent of him. It felt like peace and warmth and contentment and love but Seb still couldn't say the words.

"You'll come to dinner tomorrow, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good."

They stood there in the cold for several more minutes.

"Seb?"

"Mm?"

"It really is okay you know."

"Hmm?"

"That you don't say it. I want you to be ready when you do and you're not ready and that's okay."

Sebastian squeezed him tighter, and Kurt hummed, leaning into him.

"Alright. You need to get back to Dalton."

"Uh-uh."

Kurt giggled. "Sebastian. I don't want you to have to rush in this weather. The roads are probably going to be icy."

"I don't care."

Kurt's hands soothed up and down Seb's back.

"I care. I want you safe."

Sighing heavily, Sebastian drew back and finally met Kurt's eyes. Kurt's beautiful, kind, twinkling-with-mirth eyes.

"Don't laugh at me."

Kurt shook his head and leaned in for a kiss. "I'm not."

"You are."

"No. I...feel the same way. I don't want to let you go. But I'll see you tomorrow."

"Not soon enough," Sebastian mumbled.

Kurt nodded sadly. "Yeah."

Pushing Sebastian away slightly and tilting his head forward, Kurt rested their foreheads against each other's.

"Although, actually, we'll see each other sooner. Any time we want."

Huffing, Seb had to concede that point. "I'll think of you a lot, Kurt."

Kurt smiled. "Me too."

They finally parted and got into their cars and headed out.

~~Kurtbastian~~

"Bud, we need to talk," Burt said to Kurt.

They were getting ready to leave the house; Kurt to school and Burt to work. Kurt paused as he wrapped his scarf around his neck and carefully placed his hat atop his hair.

"Yeah?"

"I just, um, I need you to know that I know you're getting closer to Sebastian. And I want your promise that you're being careful."

Kurt looked at his father. "Dad... I'm... I'm in love with him."

Waiting, watching, he saw several emotions pass over his father's face before Burt grabbed him and hugged him.

"I'm happy for you, Kurt. Just... Don't let him push you into doing anything you don't want to do."

"No, Dad, we... We talk about everything before we do, um, more. He's so sweet. He's not pressuring me. I promise."

"Good. I don't want to have to dig out your grandpa's shotgun."

They chuckled, and Burt looked at Kurt again for a long moment, then, with a deep sigh and a clap on Kurt's back, Burt put his Carhartt coat on and picked up the lunch bag Kurt had packed for him.

"I think we both wish your mom was here to talk to, but... If you have any questions, if you need any, um, supplies, I want you to ask, okay?"

Kurt closed his eyes in mortification. "Dad!"

Burt gave a short laugh. "I know. But I still mean it."

Kurt's chest grew tight. He knew he wasn't the type of son his father might have wanted, but in the year since he'd come out, his dad had been amazing.

"Dad, I... I do miss mom, but... You're doing fine. I know if I need you, you're there, and that means so much, I can't even--"

Burt hugged him again and they shared another look before he went out the door.

Kurt smiled and gathered his own coat and lunch.

He was lucky to have a dad like Burt Hummel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who's still reading this. I'm hoping work will ease up soon and I'll feel up to writing more.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas break is looming.

Studying, drawing, painting, and for Kurt, shopping and sewing, took up the weeks leading to the end of the semester.

A snowstorm the day after Kurt's art class final had him helping his father at the shop with the flurry of customers wanting snow tires before they took their families on the typical holiday travels and excursions. Seb came to Lima to take Kurt on a date one evening, and arrived in town while his boyfriend was still working.

In his mind's eye, Sebastian could see Kurt's face, with a streak of grease across one perfect cheekbone, his hair tucked under a cap, and coveralls adorning his body, so he knew where to go to meet him.

Kurt squawked when Sebastian walked in, though.

"What are you doing? You're not supposed to see me like this!"

Laughing, Seb grabbed Kurt's hand, not even looking to check if it was clean. "Baby, I've seen it. I've drawn you these last few days, even!"

Kurt blushed and rolled his eyes. When Sebastian leaned in to kiss the cheek free from grime, Kurt murmured to him: "Why do I always forget that?"

Sebastian moved and pecked his lips. "Because you're a diva. And I love you anyway."

Kurt gasped. Seb realized what he'd said, and huffed self-deprecatingly. That had been way easier than he'd imagined.

"I cannot believe that the first time you said that was here, with me filthy and surrounded by car parts and tires."

Sebastian drew in a deep breath. "I'll never smell rubber again without thinking of this moment."

Rolling his eyes, Kurt hugged Sebastian and then stepped back.

"I need to finish one last rotation and then I'll be free to go."

Seb nodded. "I'll just wait here," he said, nodding to the cluster of plastic chairs that made up the waiting area of Hummel Tire and Lube, two of which were occupied, one by an older woman with faded blonde hair and the other by a stoic Asian man of indeterminate age.

Sebastian sprawled with his long legs in front of him into the chair on the end where he could watch Kurt work.

"You two are adorable. How long have you been together?" The woman asked. Seb's eyes narrowed, but she seemed sincere.

"Three months. Feels like I've known him forever though," Sebastian replied. He ignored the man's throat clearing and how he sat up stiffly.

"Oh, take a chill pill, man. We're in Ohio, not Russia," the woman said. Seb snorted a laugh. The man stood and excused himself. He went over and examined the posters that depicted the ruinous results of failing to rotate your tires that were over by the door.

"Ms Stevens? You're all set," Burt said. The lady stood and went to the counter to pay. Sebastian shook his head. He was surprised to get support here in Lima.

"That's great, Burt. Jan will be relieved. She's such a worrier about driving in the snow."

Sebastian contemplated what it must be like being an older gay couple in Lima. He wondered how they'd ended up here.

"I'm all set!" Kurt said as he hurried out from the work area. "Bye, Dad! Don't work too hard. Make Tim do that truck spare, please."

Burt shook his head at Kurt's fussing but gave him a fond look and waved at both boys as they left.

"It will take me a little while to clean up," Kurt said, holding Seb's hand as they went toward their cars.

"I could help," Sebastian offered.

Kurt giggled. "Um, no, I'm not ready to share my hair and skin products with you."

"Hmm. As long as you're willing to share some skin, I'll let it go."

"You'll just have to wait and see!" Kurt flirted.

At the house, Kurt left Sebastian sitting on his bed while he grabbed the outfit he'd put together for their date. "You okay on your own?"

"Yeah. I'll just rearrange your closet."

"You wouldn't dare."

"No?"

"Not if you want any hope of any physical relationship with me- ever."

Sebastian tutted. "I figured sexual blackmail was something that happened later in a relationship."

Kurt shook his head. "Never threaten my clothes." He actually looked serious and Sebastian decided it wasn't worth the risk to push him with teasing.

"Okay, okay. Hands off. I got it."

Kurt came back to him and kissed him lightly. "Thank you, love."

"I thought you didn't like endearments!" Seb called after him as Kurt went up the stairs to go shower. His light laugh floated down to Sebastian, making him smile.

The date went beautifully. It was always worth the drive, even in winter weather, to go to dinner closer to Columbus or Dayton. The larger population seemed to breed more tolerance, and Sebastian loved watching how much more relaxed Kurt was when the disapproving looks were fewer or at least more subtle.

Kurt's childlike joy at the zoo's Wildlights exhibit made Sebastian feel like he was floating through a dream. They held hands and wandered the fabulous displays, drank hot chocolate, and snuggled together to warm up once they were back in the car, before they got on the road back to Lima.

"Mm. You're warm," Kurt murmured, tucking his cold cheek between Seb's collar and skin. Sebastian chuckled.

"And your cheeks make you look like one of those Hummel figurines, all rosy and full with you smiling so much. I love making you smile, sweetheart."

Kurt batted at his chest with a muffled thump. "Oh my god, Seb, don't ever say that! Those figurines are...ugh."

"Something tells me you have an unwanted collection of those somewhere..."

"Aunt Mildred thinks I like them! Every birthday, Christmas, and Easter since I was six!"

Sebastian became suspicious. "Did you like them when you were little?"

Kurt blushed and Seb laughed.

"My mom... She said what you did. That I... Aunt Mildred gave mom the first one after I was born, and mom and I arranged them together when we got new ones. It seems silly now."

Sebastian hugged Kurt closer and kissed the side of his head.

"I'm glad you have some good memories of her. I hope you... Whenever you want to talk about her, I, um, I'd love to know more," Seb said softly.

Kurt looked up at him, obviously gauging his sincerity, so Sebastian just smiled a little and let Kurt read his expression.

"I... Thank you," Kurt murmured.

Seb nodded, and after they sat together a while longer, the heat from the warmed engine brought the temperature up and they slowly parted.

Seb held Kurt's hand through the whole drive home.

~~Kurtbastian~~

From Kurt to Sebastian: when can we get together? I have a gift for you

Kurt was busy with all his Christmas baking and decorating and crafts, but he wanted to be sure to schedule time with his boyfriend. He was pretty sure Sebastian was going to love his cookies.

From Sebastian: I can probably get away anytime you have free. Just let me know

Kurt wasn't sure what that meant exactly, but it wasn't until he was finally out of school for winter break on December 22nd that he pursued the matter.

From Kurt: I'm helping dad at the garage during the day tomorrow but I've got tomorrow night free if you are. I'm working the morning of Christmas Eve, too, but the afternoon is free. When can your parents spare you?

But Kurt didn't hear back on the 22nd, and on the 23rd, before he left for the shop, he sat at his desk and picked up a pencil for a moment and tried to See Sebastian.

He was asleep, of course. It wasn't even light outside yet. Kurt set the pencil down and went to work.

Snow tires, alignments, and urgent repairs so customers could get to family gatherings kept Hummel Tire and Lube at a frantic pace until it began to grow dark outside. Kurt blessed the short days and the caveman response people seemed to have that allowed business to drop off as night closed in.

Exhausted, Kurt stripped the coveralls off and drove home. Only after a hot shower did he check his phone for texts.

From Sebastian: I'm free Christmas Eve and Christmas day

Frowning, Kurt responded.

From Kurt: I don't understand what you mean. Don't you spend any of those times with your family? I'm thrilled to get to see you tomorrow, but what's up?

The only response Kurt received was:

From Sebastian: I'll come by tomorrow afternoon

Kurt was so tired he made dinner and he and his father ate quietly together before they both had an early night.

The mad scramble to get all the vehicles completed before the shop closed at noon on Christmas Eve took up every moment until the Hummels finally locked up the shop together and went home to clean up.

Sebastian arrived at two, and Kurt hugged him tightly after giving him a searching look.

Seb's eyes were shadowed and he looked as if he hadn't slept well. Kurt desperately wanted to know why he was so drawn, but all the Christmas Eve traditions took over, and Burt, Kurt, and Sebastian watched It's a Wonderful Life while stringing popcorn, putting the strings on the bushes outside for Christmas breakfast for the birds the following day. They ate the light dinner of French Onion Soup that Kurt prepared to try to balance the decadent Christmas day meal. The traditional Monopoly game was much more fun with Sebastian, and Kurt's concerns about his boyfriend eased as they snarked and laughed their way through that.

Exchanging gifts in Kurt's room before Sebastian had to leave was a delight. Seb loved the outfit Kurt had designed and sewn for him, and Kurt squealed at the gift card to Mood Designer Fabric online and teared up at the triptych of drawings Sebastian had painstakingly drawn and colored and had tastefully framed.

Kissing goodnight brought the secretive awkwardness back, however, and Kurt was having no more of it.

"What's going on, Sebastian? I can tell you're hiding something and I'm tired of trying to drag it out of you."

"It's nothing you need to worry about. Now, can't we just keep kissing for a while? I'm gonna need the memories to keep me warm tonight, babe."

Sebastian succeeded in distracting Kurt for another minute or so, his lips teasing and soft, slipping from Kurt's mouth to his jaw and neck.

"No, Seb, wait. Please tell me why you're being weird... Hnngg... oh god..."

Kurt eventually had to grab him by the shoulders and push him back to arm's length.

"Seb!"

"Jesus, Kurt. Fine. My parents left. They left two weeks ago, and they won't be back until January, okay? They wanted me to go to Japan and miss school and leave you and I said no, alright? Now, if we're done kissing, I'm going to go home now. Thank you for the outfit, and for letting me crash your holiday."

Sebastian was out the door before Kurt could pull together a response.

"Did I hear that right? He's been left alone over Christmas?" Burt asked, watching Sebastian's headlights illuminate Kurt's stricken expression.

"Oh god. Yeah, I... I didn't know..."

"Call him. Tell him to get his ass back here and spend Christmas with us."

Kurt called and got Sebastian's voicemail.

"You know where he lives, right?" Burt asked.

"I have his address but I've never been there."

Burt folded his arms across his chest.

"I think we should go after him and bring him back here."

Kurt looked at the time. "I...have another idea?"

Burt scowled. "He lives too far to go and come back, you're gonna say."

"His parents' house is over an hour away, outside Westerville..."

Burt grunted. Travel time would put the boys getting back after midnight if they returned to Lima. "You're in love with him. I respect that. But I'm not comfortable thinking you're having sex with him, Kurt."

Kurt's words burst from him without his intention to lie. "Dad! We're not having sex yet! That's not why I want to go stay the night! I want to go so he doesn't spend Christmas Eve night and Christmas morning alone!" Of course, they _were_ having sex, but at least it was true that that wasn't the primary reason he wanted to go  

Burt's eyes narrowed and he studied Kurt.

"Okay. Pack a bag. I want you two back here by 10 tomorrow morning, though. And he's staying with us until his folks get back, is that clear? And not in your room!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing again, beyond the drabbles! I won't promise a schedule for posting on this, but chapters should be coming more often. 
> 
> Next chapter involves smut, just so you know. I'll be increasing the rating.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas for Kurt and Sebastian. Rating increase as the boys progress further in the physical side of their relationship.

Sebastian didn't bother to turn any lights on after he locked the front door behind himself and went upstairs to his bedroom. He hung the garment bag with his Christmas gift from Kurt in his closet and moved back to his bed, dropping onto the comforter.

He had spent the drive home berating himself for telling Kurt about his parents. Why had he done that? He could have lied, or prevaricated at least long enough to get out the door.

But lying to Kurt just seemed foreign.

Instead he'd lashed out and then beat himself up about it. Kurt didn't deserve to have Seb yell at him. Just because Sebastian's parents were assholes didn't mean he had to be, too.

Sighing, Seb reached for his phone to text Kurt.

He had two missed calls from Kurt, and a text message.

From Kurt: I'm coming over. I really hope you're going to let me in because it's late and cold out.

Sebastian jumped up and ran downstairs in time to see headlights coming up the circular driveway. He opened the inside door and stood behind the glass storm door until Kurt got out and approached, holding an overnight bag. Seb let him in, taking the bag and setting it down before enveloping Kurt in the biggest, tightest hug he could.

"I'm sorry."

Kurt held him and nodded. "I forgive you."

They stood there for a bit, until Kurt giggled.

"What's funny?"

"We get to spend the night together and all you want to do is hug," Kurt said.

Sebastian drew back and stared at him.

"Seriously? You have permission to stay over?"

Kurt bit his lip and nodded.

Sebastian grinned and kissed him with an exaggerated smack.

"Then let's get to bed!"

~~Kurtbastian~~

Kurt texted his dad to let him know he'd arrived safely, then followed Sebastian upstairs. The house was dark, with the city lights reflecting in the low clouds and snowy glow from the windows shrouding everything in shadow, until they went down the hallway and a pale light fell from the second doorway on the right. Kurt's heart sped up as he entered the bedroom of his boyfriend and he looked around with curiosity.

The room had so much of a softer feel than Kurt had expected. Watercolors and photographs were framed on the walls and evoked a longing and solitude that made him want to wrap Seb up and hold him forever. The green and brown color palette of the decor reminded Kurt of Sebastian's eyes, and he finally turned to look at the boy himself.

Sebastian shifted from foot to foot and his gaze darted around as if he was trying to follow Kurt's perception.

"I, uh, I don't let people see my room. I've never had a boy in here before," Sebastian said.

Kurt felt his mouth open in surprise but no words came to him.

"I'm glad it's you," Seb added.

Kurt set his bag down and moved close to him and hugged him. Sebastian immediately sank into the embrace and Kurt rubbed his back.

"I'm so glad to be a part of your life, Seb. Don't ever doubt that."

Sebastian didn't say anything, but Kurt felt the fine tremors of a shiver go through him and held his boyfriend tighter.

It wasn't long before Sebastian shifted and started kissing Kurt's neck and then it was Kurt shivering.

"Oh... That's really... Oh, that's nice..." Kurt breathed.

"Mmm. We have all night. We should talk about it if we're gonna do something more than we have," Seb murmured, then applied some tongue to that spot just behind Kurt's ear, and Kurt swooned.

Sebastian held him firmly and laughed a little.

Kurt gripped Seb's shoulders and pushed him back.

"Yes, talk. But if we're talking, you can't be mauling my neck."

That drew an actual giggle from Sebastian and Kurt smiled in return. They moved and sat side by side on Sebastian's bed, holding hands, and Kurt felt Seb's eyes on him as his face grew hot when he thought about all the possibilities an uninterrupted night provided.

"Um, I'm not sure, uh, even what all we might...try. I mean, like, oral, um, hands... I understand the mechanics, but..."

"Oh, love," Sebastian said softly. Kurt was relieved that he didn't sound amused at Kurt's awkwardness and ignorance. "I guess I just want to know what appeals to you? In theory?"

Kurt sighed. "Everything. Eventually. But, um, tonight... I think, maybe some..." Kurt swallowed hard. "Would you, mm, suck me?" He immediately buried his burning face in Sebastian's neck.

"Oh god, yes. I've been dreaming of doing that..." Sebastian said in a strangled voice.

"I don't... I don't think I'm up for reciprocating. Is that--okay? I'm sorry, it's just--"

"That's fine. That's more than fine. I'm probably gonna come just blowing you, that's so hot."

Kurt chuckled shakily. His brain could barely process how arousing the thought of Seb coming from giving him oral sex was.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Sebastian took his time. Knowing what they were going to do let him relax and focus on winding Kurt up.

Neck kisses made Kurt tremble and gasp. Seb got a little carried away dragging his teeth along the tendon that pulled tight when Kurt arched and pressed harder against him, marking the pale skin so it glowed a rosy pink. He'd have to be more careful if he didn't want Burt to castrate him, but a dark heat in his gut ignited at the thought of having Kurt's perfect skin showing Seb's ownership with hickeys. And what kind of sounds would Kurt make if he bit down hard and sucked?

Shuddering, Sebastian pulled back and took a deep breath.

"Wh-what... Why did you stop?" Kurt breathed, looking at him with half-lidded eyes.

Seb had to smile. "I have to be careful of your skin, but I really want to mark you up," he admitted.

Kurt's eyes flew open at that, and he sucked a noisy breath.

"Oh god, Sebastian... Why is that so... Hickeys are tacky and vulgar but I... Why do I suddenly want that?"

Shifting up, Seb kissed him. "Mmm. I don't know, but I'm glad you do. Maybe I can mark you some place more...intimate? Easier to hide, but where you'll see it, or...feel it?"

"Yes!" Kurt choked. "P-please..."

Sebastian grinned. "Yeah... I will, babe. I'm glad we're on the same page with that."

He returned to kissing Kurt's neck for a moment, then Kurt tightened his fist into Seb's hair and pulled him back to look at him.

"I'm gonna do the same, Sebastian. You're mine as much as I'm yours, and I don't want you to forget that," Kurt growled, and Seb felt his heart slamming against his ribs at the declaration.

"Oh fuck yeah," he whispered, and kissed Kurt hard.

They wrestled one another to horizontal on the bed, and finally settled facing each other when neither would give up dominance. They kissed frantically for several minutes, clutching and rutting.

Kurt finally broke the impasse with a sigh.

"As awesome as it is to reenact homoerotic wrestling scenes, I'd really rather you not yank on my clothes like that, so maybe we should--"

"Get naked?" Sebastian interrupted enthusiastically.

Kurt laughed, his voice ringing through Seb's room in a way Sebastian wished he could capture to replay when he was alone and lonely.

"I was going to say get back to the plan, but that kind of works, too."

So Sebastian slowed himself down and carefully started taking Kurt's clothes off, setting them aside neatly. His own he threw haphazardly onto the floor, though, making Kurt sigh and shake his head.

They had been naked together once before, but this was Sebastian's chance to positively worship Kurt's beautiful body and take his time considering where to leave his mark.

Kissing Kurt's skin, and running his fingertips all over Kurt made Sebastian dizzy. The hair on Kurt's arms was surprisingly thick, and the thin skin on the inside of his bicep was smooth like the best drawing paper. And while dragging his lips over the warmth of that skin, Sebastian breathed the scent of Kurt and found that his underarm had a muskiness that he couldn't get enough of. Burying his face in the light brown hairs, Sebastian moaned and Kurt wiggled and tried to twist away.

"That tickles! What are you doing?!"

"You smell good," Sebastian murmured around a mouthful of armpit.

"That's...that's just weird. Would you please move on?"

Grumbling beneath his breath, Seb shifted his mouth to Kurt's nipple and sucked hard. Kurt's body bowed up and he cried out.

"Sebastian! God!"

Grinning at that response, Seb moved to the other side of Kurt's chest and repeated the hard suction, wrapping his arms into the space Kurt arching created under his back, and trapping Kurt's erection against his sternum.

Applying a little teeth and flicking the tight nub with his tongue, Sebastian had to hold Kurt firmly as the boy squirmed, gasping, his voice taking on an edge of desperation.

With a happy sigh, Seb turned his head and just rested his cheek in the center of Kurt's chest, closing his eyes and humming contentedly while he felt Kurt tremble.

"Seb... Mmm, that's so... Oh..." Kurt murmured, threading his fingers through Sebastian's hair.

"I love you," Seb responded, kissing Kurt's skin.

"Mm-hmm. Me too."

Sebastian moved down, dropping kisses from his ribcage in a trail over Kurt's abs, to the softness surrounding his navel, into the hair below.

He skipped the flexing erection and settled himself comfortably between Kurt's legs and raised one leg, kissing from his knee up to the hot, musky spot beside his balls, then repeated it on the other side. Spreading Kurt's leg out to the side, Seb bit lightly at the tendon right at the juncture of hip and groin.

"Here? Can I..."

"Yes," Kurt said, the word exploding in a heaving breath.

Sebastian returned his mouth to his chosen spot and bit again, harder, enjoying the cry that wrought from Kurt. Then he sucked, closing his eyes and focusing on the heat and the smell of Kurt right there: so intimate. More intimate than Sebastian had ever been with anyone.

'Mine,' he thought, when he pulled back and stared at the purpling hickey he'd left.

"Seb, please... Oh, I can't wait, please," Kurt moaned.

Startled, Sebastian looked up at Kurt, whose lips were swollen from their earlier kissing and from his teeth worrying them. He looked gorgeous.

"Okay, love. Whatever you want."

Kissing the mark lightly, Seb moved up to the beautiful cock he'd been ignoring, and he smiled in anticipation.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Sebastian's mouth was better than a hand ever could be. Kurt cried out and shuddered at the feeling of Seb's tongue gliding up his shaft, and when that warm wet heaven flicked at his sensitive head, Kurt felt tears spill from his eyes. His orgasm rose so fast that he choked when Sebastian's lips wrapped around him and sucked. He would have come that instant if Seb hadn't known and tightly encircled the base with thumb and forefinger.

"Not yet, babe. I'm flattered, but I want to enjoy this," Sebastian said, looking up at Kurt from between his legs, with spit glossing his mouth and a teasing smile lighting his eyes.

"Th-that feels... Seb, I can't..." Kurt gasped.

The smile turned softer. "I know. I won't make you wait long, but I want to enjoy this a little longer and you know I'm selfish."

"Oh, Sebastian," Kurt murmured in reply, reaching out with a trembling hand to touch his boyfriend's face.

"Keep your hand on my cheek for a second, okay?"

Kurt nodded, confused but trusting.

Seb re-enveloped Kurt and Kurt's mouth dropped open. Pleasure cascaded down his thighs and tingled with urgency. But when Sebastian tilted his head so Kurt could feel his cock against the soft inside of Seb's cheek and through the slightly stubbled outside with his fingers, the dual sensation made him lightheaded.

"S-Seb!" Kurt squeaked, and felt another surge that was held at bay only by Sebastian's tight grip.

Seb moaned and Kurt threw his head back at the vibration.

Pulling off, breathing hard, Sebastian's voice came to Kurt's ears.

"Look at me," he said.

Shivering, Kurt obeyed, and bit his lip at the sight of Sebastian's ass rising and falling as he ground himself into the bedding.

"I'm going to let you come soon. I promise I'll blow you again later if you want, but I can't hold back anymore."

Kurt nodded fast.

"I really want to see your face, though. Can you keep watching me?"

Feeling his cheeks flush with even more heat than they had before (and really, how was there any spare blood in his body when he was so hard?), Kurt agreed with another nod and moved his arms up over his head to squish the pillow tight and high under his head in order to assure Sebastian would be able to see him. His hands clutched the pillow hard, and his breath turned frantic when Seb smiled and licked him root to tip.

"Love you so much, Kurt."

"Love you, t--aaahhhh!!"

That wet heat was back, Seb's tongue shifting side to side as he took Kurt deep into his mouth. He bobbed twice, and Kurt sobbed in desperation.

Then the restriction holding back his climax released, and Sebastian circled the head of his erection with that delicious tongue before sinking back down, his own body writhing against the bed, and Kurt erupted.

Body jerking, Kurt felt nothing but the orgasm for some indeterminate amount of time; not the dry pain in his throat from screaming, nor the cramp in his fingers from squeezing the pillow so tightly, but only the pulses of pure ecstasy that whited out his vision and shook him to the core.

As awareness returned, Kurt blinked slowly down at Sebastian, who had his cheek resting on the inside of Kurt's thigh, and who had the dopiest smile on his face that Kurt had ever seen on anyone.

"That. Was. Incredible," Kurt panted.

"It was. It really was," Sebastian replied, his grin widening. "Perfect, I'd say."

Kurt could only nod.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm writing fairly regularly on this now, so I'll continue to post updates as quickly as I can. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of Christmas Eve night and Christmas morning.

It was after midnight, and while Kurt had neatly had his emission swallowed by Sebastian, Seb had made a mess of his comforter. Fortunately, the Smythe house had plenty of blankets around, so Sebastian unceremoniously dumped the soiled linen on the floor, kicking it along with his dicarded clothes toward a corner, and got a spare blanket from the hall closet after wiping himself off with a washcloth.

Kurt was already dressed in pajama pants, under the sheet, curled on his side, and, from the looks of it, half asleep. Seb pulled on a pair of sweatpants before spreading the blanket over Kurt and sliding in beside him, pressed close to his back. Kurt murmured and snuggled against him, and Sebastian fell asleep with a smile on his face.

~~Kurtbastian~~

Kurt woke disoriented. The dim light from a window was on the wrong wall, everything smelled different from home, and his back was sweating and hot.

An arm constricted against his stomach and Kurt took a deep breath, remembering where he was and whose arms held him. A bubble of pure delight rose into his throat and burst with a smile and a happy half-sigh, half-giggle. He'd dreamed of falling asleep and waking with a man for so long that the situation made him giddy. He bit his lip on his grin.

"You're wiggling like an excited puppy," Sebastian groused with such a sexy, morning-rough voice that Kurt got goosebumps.

"I've never woken up in a lover's arms before," Kurt replied shyly, holding still.

"Mmm. Okay. Well, I'm not really complaining, except that your wiggling got me up and it's too early."

Kurt's face heated and he threw caution to the wind and snuggled his ass back against where he could feel a hardness against his sacrum.

"So I see," Kurt flirted. Seb laughed, then groaned when Kurt arched his back, rubbing Sebastian's cock.

"Babe, that... Oh fuck... That feels really good," Seb said, his words muffled by Kurt's hair.

Kurt's heart started pounding. Somehow, in the darkness, facing away from Sebastian, Kurt felt less self-conscious and he sped up his backwards press.

"Kurt- Oh- K-Kurt, you should s-stop..." Sebastian gasped.

"No. I want to hear you. I want to _feel_ you," Kurt said, and reached an arm back to hold the other boy against him.

"We haven't talked a-about this," Seb protested, but his hips were starting to jerk.

"Shh, baby. Just-just come for me," Kurt said, and Sebastian humped his back madly for a few more seconds then cried out.

Kurt felt a heady surge through his body.

Power.

He'd made a choice, tempted Sebastian, and then made him climax.

Him. Kurt Hummel. The boy who suffered teasing and bullying all the time at school. Lady Face, Pear hips, Tickle Me Doll Face... The hurtful nicknames were almost as bad as the vulgar ones.

But he had made Sebastian, the handsome, wordly, private school boy, come in his pants.

It didn't even matter that his own erection was flagging, and that he hadn't come himself. _He'd_ done that to Seb.

Rolling over, Kurt ignored the sound of disgust that Sebastian made when Kurt laid on top of him and the wetness bled through his pants and simply kissed him, hard.

Kurt felt strong and confident as Sebastian relaxed beneath him and wrapped his arms around Kurt's back, caressing up and down and across as he allowed Kurt to ravish his mouth.

"Oh god, I loved that. I...I just... I can't believe that I could get you so riled up like that and--" Kurt murmured, resting his head against Seb's.

Sebastian was grinning. "Well I think I like this take-charge Kurt, too."

Kurt giggled. "Yeah?"

"Oh yeah."

Kurt sighed and just stared into Sebastian's eyes in the shadowed, pre-dawn light.

"I'm glad."

~~Kurtbastian~~

When the light in the room brightened, Sebastian slid out of bed and stretched, grimacing at the pull of skin, hair, and fabric from the dried come in his pants. Kurt was asleep, having dozed off after they'd spent a while kissing and holding each other, so Seb went and jumped in the shower.

By the time he returned to his room to get dressed, Kurt was awake, sitting up in bed, blinking slowly, oblivious to the way his hair was absolutely wrecked, flat on one side and standing out on the other.

"Hey there. Merry Christmas," Sebastian said, leaning in and kissing Kurt's forehead as he passed by on his way to his closet. He started pulling on clothes and was dressed save for socks and shoes before he realized that Kurt hadn't responded. He looked over. "Everything okay?"

Pensive, uncertain Kurt was back. He was biting his lip and ducking his head a little, not looking at Seb, who shook his head a little in wonderment. How could the boy who had demanded Seb hump his back, then pinned him down and kissed him senseless, look like an awkward virgin in the light of day?

Sitting down on the bed, Sebastian pulled his socks and shoes on.

"Thank you for coming over last night. And for everything else. I've never felt so..."

"What? Smothered?" Kurt asked defensively.

"Cared for."

Kurt blew out a noisy breath and Seb felt the bed shift, then Kurt's arms around his waist.

"Oh. Well, I love you, you know. I've told you that, like, a dozen times. I never thought you were thick," Kurt teased, only a little awkwardly.

Sebastian turned, bending one leg up onto the bed, and he looked at Kurt seriously.

"Everything we do is okay as long as we both think it's okay. Do you understand that? I'm totally fine with what happened this morning."

Kurt met his eyes for a second, then looked away. "I was kind of...pushy."

"Yes, you were. And I liked it."

Kurt's eyes widened and he looked back at Sebastian again, this time holding the gaze, seeming to search Seb's expression.

Finally, he smiled and nodded.

"We should get going. My dad wants us there by ten."

Sebastian nodded. "I'm ready. I'll make some coffee and toast and we can go."

"You need to pack. Dad says you're staying with us until your parents get back," Kurt said, getting out of bed and heading for the bathroom.

"Whoa, what?"

Kurt looked over his shoulder. "You can't stay in my room but at least we can spend the rest of break together."

"I'm fine staying alone. I'm not a toddler who needs minding," Sebastian snapped.

Kurt's eyebrows rose. "No one says you are. We care about you and don't want you spending your holiday alone."

Seb frowned.

"Unless... If you don't want to spend the time with me--" Kurt said, his voice starting to waver. Sebastian relented immediately and went to him.

"It's not that. I'm just used to taking care of myself. My folks leave me alone whenever they have to both be out of town and it's fine. I draw, and paint, and do homework. I'm not going hungry or being neglected. I'm fine."

Kurt tilted his head. "Seb, I don't doubt that you can take care of yourself. But you're seventeen, and still in high school. You shouldn't have to. Please, plan on staying with me whenever your parents are gone, okay? I know Dad will agree."

Sebastian didn't really get it. But if it meant seeing more of Kurt, then it was worth it. "Sure. I'll pack."

A quick peck on Kurt's beautiful lips, and Seb went to do what he'd said while Kurt took an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom.

Of course, when Kurt came out he was showered, shaved, impeccably dressed, and his hair was perfectly coiffed. Seb decided to grant that perfection took time, and they quickly ate the light breakfast and got ready to leave.

"Um, if we take one car we'll have a reason to come back together when you need to come home," Kurt suggested. Sebastian nodded and kissed his cheek.

"Now you're thinking like a horny teenager," he approved. Kurt laughed and blushed but didn't argue.

Sebastian called that progress.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I listened to Hedwig again on my road trip last month and I think the lines about feeling powerful through sex must have sunk in. I hadn't planned for Kurt to become dominant (and this isn't going to become a BDSM story), but I like having him gain confidence in his own attractiveness. Although this is Kurt without Glee club, so he's still going to backslide with insecurities, too. But I definitely think Sebastian is good for him.

**Author's Note:**

> I intend this to be mostly fluffy smutty happiness. I hope you'll enjoy it. If you do, please leave a comment. As so many of us are, I'm in dire need of bright moments in these dark times, and comments are like God rays of light. 
> 
> Thanks!


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